Probably because your internet persona and gimmick is really shitty

Everyone feels suicidal now and again.

Kill more synths, it helps

Did the virus synth infect you?

I'm sorry man, I know Ingram's banging teagan but you just have to move past it.

Maybe cuz you killed danse, you asshole. [spoiler]never forgetti[/spoiler]

As much as you may find life hard now, there's always the possibility of amazing things happening in the future. When you're having a difficult time it may seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but there will be once you get there, you just have to make it to the end of the tunnel. Take pleasure in the small things in life, if the big things are too hard to find happiness in; play some video games, sink a couple beers while watching your favourite show, read a book, hire a hooker (if that's you're kinda thing lol) the important thing to take out of it is find happiness even if it's in small places. Keep doing this until you find the big parts of your life make you happy again, and don't worry, because it will happen. Most people at some point go through dark times in their life, you just have to push through.

Is it like, a curiosity feeling? Or a self hate/depression feeling?

Go with your gut feeling! ;)

but muh ad veectorium

Everyone gets a little down sometimes. Its chemical mostly. Unless you have some medical issue. In any event, when you get to those I feel like dying moments, just remember somewhere someone else is having a harder time then you. Are you relatively happy? Do you get to eat every day whenever you want to? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have heat? Do you have lights? Do you have clothes on your back, shoes on your feet? Do you have a job? Do you go to school and get to learn something new everyday? Do you have even one person in your life you know loves you unconditionally? Are you healthy? Do you get to wake up every morning and see a beautiful sunrise? Do you get to chill out every evening and see a georgous sunset? ....I could go on and on. Whenever you're feeling that down, ask yourself those questions. I'd rather be sad and still be able to do whatever I want whenever I want everyday, and not miss out on all the things the world nd your life still have to offer/show/teach you, then to end it and take your chances on what's on the other side. You got it made homies. You even got internet access!! If I were you I'd smoke some good w33d , watch a funny @ss movie, crack up, and let that fukitol work through your system. After you eat all those munchies, and nap it off, you'll wake up like damn it's a good day. Keep your chin up young buck, your destiny still awaits you, be it good or bad, enjoy the ride, you're only on this ball of dirt for a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of time. Do all you can do, see all you can see, and when you're old and wrinkly sitting in the rocking chair thinking back on all you've done in life, if then you decide I've done all I can do, I've seen all I can see, I've lived enough for two lifetimes, THEN you can decide to check out. Until then don't rob us and the world of your greatness, because we are sitting here eagerly awaiting it. You are not alone. Good luck.

Life is precious, and suicide is a serious issue. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You may also wish to contact any of the following crisis prevention resources: US: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org www.spanusa.org UK: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx Canada: http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ International Directory: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Military Crisis Line: Active duty, Guard and reserve service members, their families and friends stateside and in Europe have 24/7 access to the Military Crisis Line at no cost. For crisis support, those in the U.S. call 800-273-8255, then press 1. Callers in Europe dial 00800-1273-8255 or DSN 118. The toll-free service in Europe may not be available through all carriers or in all countries. Military One Source Toll Free Number: 800-342-9647 Military One Source Crisis Prevention: http://m.militaryonesource.mil/crisis-prevention