Just to clarify, I'm a guy.
My little sister plays online with my brother and I all the time, she's 15. On a regular basis she has to hear obscene comments and inappropriate jokes made at her expense because of all the immature little shitheads who think they should say whatever they want.
Girls are treated like they are worthless when they get online, like the butt of a joke. Obviously, there are good guys who would never be so inconsiderate, probably most guys are cool, but there are still too many that actively ruin the experience for girl gamers. They shame them for being girls and objectify them. That's why so many girls avoid joining parties or using lfg forums.
(Edit 5: apparently I need to make something clear. I'm not talking about joking around or even making some friendly jabs. I'm not talking about trash talk. I'm talking about genuine HARASSMENT. There is nothing, NOTHING, okay about some adult guy telling my 15 year old sister she makes him want to masturbate. There is nothing okay with telling her that she is giving him a hard on. These are genuine experiences that she has encountered that I happened to be in the party for. I'm not saying it happens everyday, not even every week, but still way more often than it should.)
So when I apologize on behalf of men, feel free to treat me like I'm being a white knight, trying to get attention for myself. Just be aware that it makes you a part of the problem because you trivialize the terrible treatment that the female part of our community has to endure just to take part.
Sorry ladies.
Edit: I've always been a believer that we've approached bullying in our society from the wrong direction. I believe that instead of punishing bullies we should focus on raising the self worth and esteem of our youth and the problem will take care of itself.
But that doesn't alter the fact that as a community, as gamers, we have a very large sexism problem that a lot of people continue to deny exists. Should girls be able to handle it better, probably... But we can't expect the victims to do all the changing. If we want the gaming community to improve, we have to be willing to accept that as guys we need to make a change and influence each other to treat the ladies, our fellow gamers, better.
Just like we cant deny racism exists, guys... We can't deny this is a problem.
It's not the only one, but the one I'm addressing here.
Edit 2:
Tl;dr- they're hiding because they are sick of being treated like crap by immature guys.
Edit 3:
I'm not trying to make a point about racism or singling out white people, I'm just using that example as a comparison. There are hundreds of others I could come up with.
Edit 4:
It's really simple, we should treat the girls with respect. I don't understand how there's any opposition to this. This thread started out pretty positive and now the crappy side of the community is showing its colors. It's ugly.
Edit 6: 2000 Replies wow. It's not all good but I've seen some awesome discussions taking place.
English
#Destiny
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This is why reports need to be taken more seriously. Customer or not if you're constantly bad mouthing people and harassing them something needs to happen.
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Treat everyone the same unless they give me a reason not to. Even if they do I usually won't treat them bad at most avoid the person
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7 RespuestasI agree with you here. I am not a girl or have a sister that games, but i do have a couple of girls on my friendslist. 1 is even at the point right now thats she wont use a mic if 1 person she doesnt trust is in the party. A other that she wont play with randoms at all. This just has to stop. Maybe its time for the FBI or some other goverment stuff to get involved and start back tracing those IP's.
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I'm one of the lucky girl gamers, I don't run into too many issues, and I use LFG all the time. I've met some good people there. Most of us just like to stick with a close group of friends, so it's rare to see us without a fireteam. But I remember my Halo days before party chats and you had to be in game chat, and the moment I spoke, everyone went bonkers lol.
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I'm a female and I've noticed this a lot when I play outside of my main group. jokes at my expensive, patronize me. the norm. but I shrug it off because not every guy is like this and i try not to take things personal. I've met jerks and nice guys.
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I have lots of female friends online and play with them quite often. But the only time i will ever disrespect one is if they are the one disrespecting me first. Other then that i usually dont talk to girls online cause my friends are asshats who will be like "why are you being thirsty" or "the thirst is strong with this one" even if im helping a female friend. :/
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Just tip your fedora m8, scratch your neckbeard while you're at it
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Anonymity of the internet (gaming or otherwise) and a general lack of good parenting has led to a chunk of the population being miserable, rude, pathetic turds who feel the need to act out and make others feel bad so they can feel better. Misery loves company is a very very true saying.
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Being a girl I totally agree with this... It's honestly just sick...
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12 RespuestasTo everyone saying girls just need to toughen up... until you've been a girl in that situation you have no understanding of what it's like and no right to tell people to just get over it. The abuse and sexual harrassment girls face is intimidating, endless and pervasive. How would you like it to be ridiculed, ignored, undermined, insulted and made worthless just because of a particular aspect of who you are? Yes it's was one small off hand joke you made about getting back in the kitchen. But the girl you said it to has heard it hundreds if not thousands of times, when she's just trying to get on and do her thing. She's being shot down, not taken seriously... all because of who (what) she is. To the people saying that this is how gaming culture is, everyone gets abused, I don't accept that. Yes it may be the norm, but that doesn't mean the norm is ok. Slavery was the norm. Aparteid was the norm. Gender inequality was the norm. Criminalising homosexuality was the norm. Nazism was the norm. If you wouldn't do it in the street, don't do it on a forum. Stop hiding behind anonymity online, it's cowardly. Don't be an asshole just because everyone else is. That just makes you a sheep.
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Thank you for being both respectful and intelligent.
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I think this is a pretty stark problem. People want to play games. Let people play. It doesn't matter what their ethnicity is, their gender, their situation at home, or their religion. Just sayin.
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Thanks for this well written comment. Hopefully this will make some people think (although the people being the issue here probably will reply with sexists remarks, and another bunch of people just will deny the problem :-/ ).
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15 RespuestasNot reading. The answer is No. No one cares about your gender in any given video game unless you're a complete tool or piece of shit/trash. We play to play dammit
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6 RespuestasI have EIGHT gamer girl friends. Two are my gf. So either im really lucky where i live. Or girls everywhere like to game.. but they don't because of imposed gender roles in early development.
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4 RespuestasRacism can be funny but you got to be a sick person to say that to a 15 old girl or any lady. If you knew them and played with them sure you might get a pass at that. Tell my wife that all the time ;) haha
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You can thank the G.I.F.T. for that blunder, OP. A lot of guys can be insanely idiotic when they're masked behind an IP.
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3 RespuestasThe only thing that pisses me off is when a girl asks to be carried but she specifically says she's a girl as if it really matters
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I've heard worse said to other guys. So....
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1 RespuestaAnswer to your question [spoiler]In the kitchen[/spoiler]
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Hey OP, I'm sure you knew you'd cop some pretty awful replies for posting this, but you did it anyway. Thanks for that.
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If you and your sister want a clean, fun, and competitive (only if you want it to be!) gaming environment, hit me up and I'll invite you to the 100.io group I'm in. Echo 184. The 100.io was featured in a Community Focus a while back. Get into the right group of gamers, and her gaming experience will drastically improve. Our group does PvE and PvP regularly.
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I'm with you. Treat others how you would want to be treated. That's pretty basic stuff that most people should be taught early in life
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3 RespuestasI don't understand why most gamer guys are douche bags. Maybe it's the lack of outside communication. I treat everyone the same but I'm an individual and we are all different. Creepers gunna creep...
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Yea unfortunately alot of the guys online are afraid to talk to girls in real life, so in a safe place for them surrounded by like minded individuals, they take out their frustration for the lack of female companionship by acting like hot shots...but alas , it is what it is, I'll play with anyone, but I bust balls consistently, and all its fair when you play with RPO
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1 RespuestaGamer gate proved that sexism in the gaming industry was a thing and was disgustingly widespread. Unfortunately the anonymity of the internet pushes people to say things and act in ways they wouldn't in a real life crowd situation. Your sister certainly does not deserve in any way that kind of interaction when doing something which most of us do to relax, have fun and disappear from the real world for a while. All I can say is that she really needs to game with friends, perhaps join a clan. The Dames of Destiny are always welcoming and you can find regional shoot offs of the clan. For Destiny there are also sites like https://www.the100.io/ which will have better selection of custom matchmaking than randoms you may meet on the lfg sites. I will say that I met both ladies in our clan through LFG and they neither had a bad time with the random group we met in, nor have I encountered since. Still they're our clan mates now and we'll have their back in any party, game whether we're in there or not. Better believe that anyone insulting any clan mates is going to get Destiny and PSN reports sent in. Hey it's the most you can do over the internet and aside from eradicating Hive, Fallen, Vex and Cabal from the known galaxy..... I'm actually a passive guy.