Obi-Wan doesn't need to be on the high ground, the high ground just needs to exist within the battle; Obi-Wan knows that when he has the low ground, he really has the high ground, from a certain point of view; see Diagram A. Look at his battle record: Maul: Has low ground, wins Example A Dooku: No high ground, loses Dooku rematch: No high ground, loses Example B. Greivous: Has low ground, wins Example C Vader: Has high ground, wins Vader rematch: No high ground, loses Obi-Wan with the high/low ground is canonically the most powerful Jedi. This is fact. Had Yoda not denied his request to battle The Senate with typical Jedi arrogance, Obi-Wan could have defeated Palpatine in the Senate building, which housed a variety of different altitudes; this was designed so that the Chancellor could always have the moral high ground in political debates. But Obi-wan didn't fight The Senate, and Yoda soon learned that you can't cleave the Sheev in a normal 1v1. It took the Tusken Raiders years of conflict against Old Ben Kenobi to grasp his superiority in terrain advantage, as you see them visibly flee in ANH when they realize he holds the low (inverse-high) ground; this was the optimal strategy against a near-invincible opponent. Yoda is shorter than virtually every other fighter, which gives him a permanent low-ground disadvantage; however, his saber-fighting style utilizes a flipping-heavy technique in order to negate this weakness for a temporary window. You'll notice that, after falling from the central podium in The Senate's building, he immediately retreats upon realizing he is on the lowest ground. You'll also notice that, while training Luke, he rides on him like a mount, to gain the intellectual high ground and accelerate Luke's training. Example D . Obi-Wan's defensive Form III lightsaber style synergizes with his careful military maneuvers; as he only strikes when prepared, he can always hold the strategic high ground. (The business on Cato Neimodia doesn't count.) You'll come to realize that this is why Commander Cody's artillery strike failed against Obi-Wan, when hundreds of Jedi were killed in similar attacks. Cody failed to grasp the strategic situation, as the Jedi Master's elevation was superior to his by hundreds of meters, making him virtually unkillable. (You'll notice that all the Jedi killed in Order 66 were on level ground with the clones, thereby assuring their demise.) Had Cody taken his time and engaged the Jedi on even terrain, he would have succeeded. Obi-Wan subsequently retreated under the surface of the lake, so that he could maintain the topographical low/high ground. This is why Obi-Wan is so willing to fight against impossible odds to the point where he thrusts himself in immediate danger; when your probability of victory is 1-to-10, you have the statistical (and therefore strategic) low ground, a numerical advantage when you use your point of view to flip the value to 10/1 . Almost losing is, in Obi-Wan's case, certain victory. (See Example E). As we all know, spinning is a good trick. However, only the Chosen One can spin outside of a starfighter. Palpatine tried spinning, but he lost due to this technique (but this was intentional, as losing gave him the emotional high ground when Anakin arrived). The reason for this is that spinning provides a yin-yang approach to combat (based in Eastern philosophy on balance), giving the spinner the high ground from above and below. Only the Chosen One can master the spin, as it is their destiny to maintain balance in the universe. This is why Obi-Wan was so emotional after defeating Vader on Mustafar; he expected to lose the high ground to the spin, but Anakin fell to the dark side and could no longer use his signature trick, becoming the very thing he swore to destroy. Additionally, Anakin told Obi-Wan that, from "[his] point of view, the Jedi are evil". This broadens Anakin's mind to the concept of relativity in the context of the moral high ground, a mere step away from tactical comprehension. Anakin doesn't hate sand for the reasons he told Padme; all Jedi hate sand, as the battlefield can rapidly change between low and high ground on multiple vectors, so your perspective must be from a certain three-dimensional point of view in order to comprehend who holds the high ground. This is the only reason why Obi-Wan killed Maul in Rebels. This is also the reason why Obi-Wan hates flying; there is no gravity in space, therefore there is no high or low ground from any frame of reference (This also negates the spinning trick, as noted in Example F). In ANH, Vader proves his newfound mastery by engaging Obi on perfectly even ground. However, Obi-Wan intentionally sacrifices himself on the Death Star, so that he could train Luke from a higher plane of existence, thereby giving him the metaphysical high ground Example G. Why was Vader so invested in the construction and maintenance of the Death Star? Because he knows Obi-wan can't have the high ground if there's no ground left. Image A. As seen through the events of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan was known to be on friendly terms with Senator Organa, whose homeworld held large quantities of mountainous terrain, the perfect habitat for a Jedi Master. Grand Moff Tarkin was already in position to destroy Alderaan as a first target, as the distance from Scarif to Alderaan was too vast to reach between the escape and recapture of the Tantive IV, even at 1.0 lightspeed. Alderaan had been the initial target all along, as Obi-Wan with the high ground was the primary threat to the Death Star. How? Because a moon-sized space station would have some form of gravitational pull, thereby negating Obi-Wan's zero-gravity weakness; Obi-Wan with the perpetual high-ground in a low-orbit starfighter would easily be able to fire proton torpedoes through a ventilation shaft, although the Empire was uncertain of the specific weakness of the Death Star planted by Galen Erso (who was a good friend). In Return of the Jedi, you can see that the Throne Room contains a variety of different altitudes; Palpatine placed these there to ensure Vader's defeat. However, Sheev failed to realize that his weakness was no ground, and should have covered that useless gaping pit which does nothing. A common misconception is the idea of a 'prostrate position' version of the high ground, wherein Obi-Wan lies flat on his back, giving him tactical superiority from his point of view. However, this strategy is futile, as for the high ground to come into effect, there must be a differential between parties on both the x-axis and y-axis to a moderately significant variation from both absolutes (Angles only a Sith would deal in). For Obi-Wan's high ground powers to be in full effect, he must stand between 15 and 75 degrees (π/12 to 5π/12 radians) diagonal from his opponent(s) on any quadrant of the area circle; this has been dubbed the Trigonometric Perspective Diagram. (Diagram B). The total effect for conventional high ground advantage can be calculated via the MetaComm Equation, or f(x) = lim 0→x π/12 | 7π/12 5π/12 | 11π/12 Ʃ(x) (2tan(x) / 3sin(x) + (log10Δ)) * cΦ Δ = distance on hypotenuse (meters) Φ = Surrounding Force [c (variable) * β (Earth Gravity) * (pressure (psi)/2.2)] 'x' refers to the angle of contact between the two parties on, with advantage being based purely on position on the Y-axis, as the vast majority of force users base their perception on elevation rather than spacial relativity. The power of gravitational force has great effect on the high ground; too weak, and the high ground holds no traction; too strong and the ground becomes the real enemy. Experimentation has proven that the high ground typically holds significant value between .8 and 1.4 β (Earth Gravities) with maximum impact standing roughly equal to 1.05. Pressure is equally important, as it is a surrounding force attached to gravity (the high ground has famously low impact in aquatic environments). Pressure(λ) is measured in pounds per square inch (psi), to be used as a gravity multiplier (or division if pressure is sub-atmospheric; Φ (Surrounding Force) is a variable defined as β * 2.2λ , with no metric value assigned due to its singular application in the MetaComm equations. In situations regarding Obi-Wan and his relativistic point of view, you must substitute the Quadrilateral MetaComm Equation (the Jedi Master function), f(x) = lim 0→x minmaxƩ (2tan(x) / 3sin(x) ) * (1.2)cΦ [min = (|cos(x)| = 1) | (|sin(x)| = 1) + π/12 ), max = (|cos(x)| = 1) | (|sin(x)| = 1) + 5π/12 ]. The viable Φ field is expanded, as Obi-Wan has taken advantage of the high ground in so many different environments that he simply uses it more efficiently, and the min/max values apply due to his multidimensional point of view, evidenced by the Trigonometric Perspective Diagram. Additionally, the distance factor does not affect Obi-Wan, as spacetime can be perseptively compressed, giving him the ideal Δ value from his point of reference. In conclusion, Obi-Wan abuses spatial relativity and Taoist doctrine in order to always invoke his high-ground powers. To properly analyze the strategic genius of Kenobi, one must hold advanced knowledge in Philosophy, Mathematics, and Calculus-based Physics, and be able to integrate these topics together. [spoiler]Sorry Partner, but You’ve Yeed your last Haw [/spoiler]

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped?and fell over, breaking the glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph that well, don't really remember where he was from, but let's just say plans got held up to help him through his injuries. Joseph got a big shard of glass in one eye which left him blind in that eye. had one of those cotton pads over it for a few months. Then suddenly, he vanished along with my girlfriend. Apparently they bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together. I tried to track them down, but never could. In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from cotton eyed Joe

... Cheerios... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler]

I FOUND THE COPYPASTA HERE IT IS BELOW: Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR! Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind. I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with somepaper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poop -molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky poop/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering poop/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own poop blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends-DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!

Destiny Ja Navy Seals copypasta And the PERGREIN GREAVES

[spoiler][quote][b] so guys we did it we reached a quater of a million subscribers, 250,000 subscribers and still growing the fact that we reached this number in such a short amount of time is just phenomenal i-im just amazed, thank you all so much for supporting this channel and helping it grow I-I love you guys, you guys are just awesome. so as you can probably tell this isnt really a montage parody, this is really more like a kind thank you / update video so in this video im quickly gonna go over two things: firstly advertisements, and more importantly : the future of this channel and what kind of direction its headed. okay so firstly, the advertisements. believe it or not but montage parodies are actually a copy right minefield new content is getting claimed every day. we could use something from.. lets say.. 5 years ago, and tommorow a huge company could come along and claim that video as theres and we have no control over that. and any video we use that product in could either get copy right stiked or lose monetizeation, meaning that all the money made from that video would get sent to the company, and not us. the only real way to counter this is to get advertisements placed on my channel, i mean its a win-win for everyone involved you know i get a safety net generated for myself and the company gets exposure and you guys, my sub subcribers, sit through a two second ad that will be as short and painless as possible, so next im gonna talk about the future of this channel, this doesnt mean in anyway that im actually quitting montage parodies, its basically why you subscribed to my channel and i enjoy making them and theres no reason to quit because im in full time education i have less time to make and upload videos it use to be weekly uploads and now its pretty much once a month but in my opinion uploading once a month isnt enough id like to upload more than that, i mean, as much as possible but montage parodies take a long time to make, collecting the resources, coming up with an original idea ya know, all this stuff takes time and planning and that combined with me being in education means that they take a while to make, a good video that goes into detail about this is rubber rosses video "future of independant animation on youtube" it is a different theme'd video because I dont do independant animation, but you can still kind of relate because uploads become more infrequent; channel traffic slows down this is why i want to make videos that are related to montage parodies, but arent exactly meta montage parodies, like I said before: im not quitting montage parodies, its basically seen as either you wait for me to upload one video a month or i upload one video a month with a bunch of you know, funny gameplay stuff in between. A great example of this would be counter strike global offensive but at the end of the day, its all down to you guys, you guys are my subscribers and id love to hear your feed back on what youd like me to do next, leave a comment below: your thoughts and ideas. Im gonna try to respond to as many comments as I can to this video. I would love to hear your feedback on what kind of videos youd want to see, any future ideas for the channel. I feel that because your subscribed to an extent, you're inclined to, you know, share your thoughts and ideas, and have a say on what i should do next, and its really appeciated guys. and lastly i want to thank you guys, thank you guys for helping this channel grow so quickly, in such a short amount of time I mean I started doing videos like these just over a year ago and i would have never expected my channel to grow so quickly in such a short amount of time just from montage parodies its amazing, you know ive been reading the comments and some of them have just been genuinly amazing ive been told people have depression and they find these videos you know therapeutic and have enjoyed them, and lifted their spirits and stuff and its just amazing how my videos can do that to people and that really motivates me to do more of these videos, and just thank you all so much for giving me this opportunity, it really-it really means a lot guys you have no idea, and lastly i want to give a shout out to all the people who helped make this video whether thats voice overs, animations, stuff like that. firstly we got Harvey Rothman he designed my youtube profile picture, and has also designed a what the fast intro for my channel, and its just amazing. i love his animation style he is just a really nice guy to talk to, be sure to subscribe to his channel, hes got an upcoming animation for five nights at freddys "foxy gets hooked", he does music production, hes all around a really good guy, next we got Hitlerspimp hes just so talent with SFM, he designed the intro for me, its unbelivable how talented he his, be sure to check out his videos, hes just amazing. and lastly check out creamforce for his sexy voice over he did in the video honestly he does a lot of montage parody esc videos, definintely check him out his videos are just amazing and he just has a great personality all around. and thats it guys thats all i wanted to explain, thank you all for sitting through this video and taking all the information in, dont forget to comment down below your thoughts and feelings, id love to hear your feelings on where to take this channel montage parodies are still coming, ive got at least 2 videos in the works right now and will be up very soon. thank you all again for a quarter of a million subscribers im just still amazed that we reached this number in just a short amount of time, thanks guys.[/b][/quote][/spoiler]