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Edited by Hunter:
7/4/2016 9:15:55 PM
42
Girl Dies From Holding in Fart! GONE WRONG (GONE SEXUAL)
Most of you might've read this story and so have I but this is too hilarious not to post.
Why? Well she could've easily avoided this and she cares about what others think about her a bit too much.
http://empirenews.net/teenage-girl-dies-after-holding-in-farts-during-school-dance/
English
#Offtopic
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I don't want to know how holding in a fart and dying can "go sexual"
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[quote]Parents and students at St. Petersburg high school are in shock and tears today after the news of the death of 16-year-old Katy Campbell. Campbell, a junior at St. Petersburg, died while attending a school dance, and the county coroner is claiming her death could have easily been avoided. According to Dr. Joe Goldsmith of the St. Petersburg Medical Examiner’s Office, Campbell’s stomach imploded, and she died during the high school Winter Wonderland Dance. “Katy died due to a large amount of built-up methane gas in her stomach,” said Goldsmith. “Unfortunately, we believe she was holding in a bad case of stinky flatulence, this causing her stomach and bowels to rupture. If she had just broken that wind, she would still be here today.” Police investigators are ruling the death accidental, and say no foul-play is suspected. “Basically, Katy Campbell had the biggest date of her life, and apparently her parents, who are vegans, forced her to eat a giant plate of beans, kale, and spinach before she was picked up,” said Captain Aaron Silver of the St. Petersburg Police Department. “She tried desperately to hold in her gas so she would not be laughed at by her hunky jock date. Sadly, it ended her life. The parents have been through enough, so we will not be charging them as accessories, despite forcing the horrible meal onto poor Katy.” “I wish she had just run off into the bathroom, or a dark corner somewhere, and just let that fart go,” said Katy’s date, Bob Eakafe. “I mean hell – I farted a couple times while we were dancing. Don’t think anyone noticed. Poor Katy, she probably thought she did it. It’s depressing really, because now I have no one to take to the spring dance next month.” In lieu of flowers, Katy’s parents request donations be made to your local natural gas company.[/quote]
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That news site is satire.
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5 RepliesThis is a satirical article on satirical website. It's surprising that people can't figure it out.
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1 Reply"If she had just broken that wind, she would still be here today.” DONE.
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Florida, huh? What're the chances
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Tragic thing is she died to hide her embarrassment, and yet here we are
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She won a Darwin Award
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Poor girl, I feel her pain. I got ol' Willy stuck in a Chinese finger trap once, and as much as you want to pull out - or in her case, fart - you simply can't without making matters worse. So you wait a while and hope your raging boner goes away before your dick explodes, much like her insides after holding in that fart for so long.
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1 Reply1000 ways to die - the new Season
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2 RepliesThis is fake. Girls don't fart.
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I better let this one go then *three days later* "STILL GOIN BOYS!!!"
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5 RepliesWait you can die from that? Shit....
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She must have ate a pepper while losing in those farts, and lit it up, boom
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2 RepliesEdited by Oak_Khan: 7/5/2016 3:02:19 PMI feel terrible for laughing Also when I heard her parents were vegan and it was the beans that -blam!-ed her over I nearly collapsed Oh thank God it's a satire piece
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1 ReplyFatal as well as flammable.
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2 RepliesNever hold in a fart. It will back flow into your brain. The true source of all sh-tty ideas.
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2 RepliesEdited by Goldship: 7/5/2016 5:25:57 AMIf that can actually happen I may have just gained a new fear, and I'm not afraid of many things
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Edited by Cyber: 7/5/2016 9:44:32 PMDid you just assume her gender?
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1 ReplyDon't hold in your farts. It's the only way your ass can say "No more chimichangas"
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Edited by SIR REAL252: 7/6/2016 1:17:59 AMWow[spoiler]this is fake[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesEdited by Trexus: 7/5/2016 8:45:02 PMYou guys know this is a joke right? [quote]In lieu of flowers, Katy’s parents request donations be made to your local natural gas company.[/quote]
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3 RepliesIf she held it in for that long you would start having unbearable pain and my cousins he held a fart in for longer than that and only experienced pain not combustion.
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Can we hold a Three-Day-Fart-Mourning period?
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The clickbait is like all the clickbait on YouTube
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This is very troubling.
