I agree with you. I think it's an unhealthy movement that is socially costly in terms of health care, human lives, and individuals' self-esteem and wellness. I also have a small suspicion that the movement is being funded -- or at least quietly supported -- by food industry associations. I flatly disagree with telling people "you should not try to improve yourself" regardless of whether you're talking about health/weight, skills, knowledge, or personality/behavior. And for background, about 2 years ago I was the same as you -- just shy of 250 lbs (6 ft tall). About 2 years ago I got sick of being fat. I lost 70 pounds, hit my goal weight, and have maintained it within +/- 5 pounds ever since. There are countless people out there giving advice about how to lose weight and keep it off, so I know my own thoughts are just a drop in the ocean, but since you said you've tried dieting unsuccessfully several times, it struck a chord with me because that was me when I was about your age. So, for what it's worth, here's how I did it: 1. Start by counting your calories. Use a journal or spreadsheet at first. Be obsessive about it. Set a calorie limit that works for you (for me, it was 1200 calories on days I didn't work out, 1500 on days I did) and STICK TO IT. After a few months, you'll be able to count calories in your head -- and you should. Forever. 2. Whatever calorie limit you set will feel incredibly small. Accept that you will be hungry. You'll think about food all the time. You'll talk about it with your friends (by the way, find a friend or family member who will support you in this). You'll wolf down your smaller meals in 2 bites and crave more. You'll start following food blogs and foodie accounts on Instagram. It's miserable but it won't kill you. After a while it's kinda funny. 3. Speaking about #2 (the hunger), you'll find ways to manage it. Eat tons of vegetables to fill yourself up without taking in many calories. When you absolutely MUST HAVE PIZZA, have a half of 1 slice instead of 4. Have a cheat day every couple of weeks, but keep it reasonable -- "cheat day" doesn't mean binge 20,000 calories in a day. But maybe it means 3000 that day. A cheat day gives you something to look forward to on the days when you're really hungry. 4. NO FAD DIETS OR PAID WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMS. You need to find what works for you, and a 30-day "cleanse" or only eating bacon and steak is NOT sustainable, nor are these diets ever healthy in the long run. And those paleo and keto diets can go -blam!- themselves. They don't work in the long run for the vast majority of people who try them. 5. Instead, cook for yourself, as much as possible, and make your meals from scratch using raw ingredients from the produce section (NO MEALS IN A BOX). This tip should actually probably be number 1 or 2. You can't cook? Neither could I. And if I can learn to cook, anybody can. You don't have time? Bullshit. Did you really need another hour to sit on your ass and play Destiny when you could have been whipping up your own marinara sauce from scratch? Plus it's cheaper than eating out and you learn a valuable skill that makes you a hit at parties and more attractive to potential romantic partners. IMO knowing how to cook from scratch is probably the most important life skill you can have, and as a bonus, it's hugely helpful for losing weight. 6. For me, weight loss was 80% diet, 20% exercise. To put it more bluntly, working out is not an excuse to pig out. However, exercise is still crucial and you can't lose weight without it. Plus it's good for your brain, heart, cardiovascular system, and having muscles doesn't exactly hurt your attractiveness either. Find the exercises/classes/sports that you enjoy and get your heart RACING for at least 3 hours a week, more if you have the time. After a while, you'll start to love and crave it, not in the least because you get to eat more on those days. :-) 7. is darker Again, just my $0.02 from the peanut gallery, but as a person who was in your shoes more than once, I definitely feel for you. And yes, don't put on a false face of "acceptance" if you feel like you can and should improve your health and aesthetic. Go implement that change. You can do it!