Dope

I didn't take that left turn at Albuquerque.

I was dragged into the depths and have never been able to emerge. [spoiler]Will you step into the shadows?[/spoiler]

The Offtopic Devision of the Foundation brought me here for containment. I’m kinda stuck here now.

I was browsing my usual home in lore, but was viciously struck in the back of the head and blacked out for approximately 84 years. I woke up in offtopic.

*steps out from the Æther* Like that. 👍😎

FATE IS WHAT BROUGHT ME FAAATEEE

There was once a fish. It was a square fish. It was also a trout. it swam to a mysterious land called Offtopic. It stayed there.

[Black holes are fun to fly through. That's all I'm gonna say.]

After a failed attempt to get the people of Lore to realize the true way to survival, I was ousted into the wilderness after 4 years of serving the Lore community. Yet now, the same push I tried a year ago is back. I was before my time I suppose but that’s besides the fact. I came here through Ringer (our relationship is complicated due to The Dusk War). Now lurk, sometimes silently, sometimes with a Voice. I still cost my old home from Time to Time. [spoiler]Oh, and I have a slight obsession with Tea and poison[/spoiler]

I don't know... I guess this is my summer home or some shit, idk.

"I took the long way around." Actually, I'm drinking coffee looking out my back door at birds. I can't quite grasp the idea of a forum thread being a place. But I've been here the whole time. Idk, I need a better frigging origin story.

Tactical parafoil, but my comms are in-op and I can't call for exfil. And I'm too damned old to hump it out of here.

I saw the app, downloaded it, boom!

I just sort of stumbled upon this forum and here we are now. I think it was probably a misclick

I broke a deal with an old friend and confined him to the cognitive realm in order to investigate disturbances in this area.

I wanted the Bungie logo next to my gamertag in Halo 3 and boom, 10 years later I’m still here

I came to Bungie.net as a Soldier for the #Density Forums during their Red War Campaign, specifically in the #Lore division. I blindly followed them, not understanding the significance of my actions. But then I saw it firsthand: The Great Purge F-22 BanHammer jets carpet bombed as much of the beautiful Offtopician Countryside as possible. I watched from the Viewing platforms of users running in fear and desperation for cover. I was always told that the Offtopic was a rebellious part of the forums that deserved to be burnt to a crisp. I snuck out from my post later that night, bringing my belongings with me or just burning them. I started my pilgrimage to the Burnt lands of the Offtopic. It took several painful days of hiking and climbing, but I finally made it. Unfortunately, not everyone here was sunshine and rainbows. A flat-earther raider gang captured me as soon as I crossed the Gaming/Offtopic border, threatening to "show me the Edge." To this day, I have no idea what they meant, but it couldn't have been anything good. I sat in my cage, waiting for my demise, until I heard plasmafire and explosions. It was a Group calling themselves the "Servants of God," raiding the camp and freeing any hostages they found. They were led by a good man, Shane Mimbs, who freed me and blew up the camp. I was left on the Void coast, told to "Enjoy Offtopic. You'll never leave" They were right. Unfortunately, that would be the first and last interaction I would have with Shane, for reasons you all know. Rest in Peace. [spoiler]On a more serious note, if you are wondering "How can you be so insensitive!" Go ahead and tell me how bad of a person I am. I won't care.[/spoiler] I wandered around for a bit, scavenging supplies from the ruins, running with a few Users for strictly survival purposes. Hell, some of them even became friends. I also ran a few different idetities, mainly due to #Density looking for their rogue soldier who left their post. I always kept up with the politics of the land, if you can even call that unorganized mess politics. For the first few months, even though I did run with a few people, I felt alone. Then, I heard the roar of toxicity engines. The Bungie regime had invaded the Southern Regions of the Forums, but not Offtopic. It was part of their "downsizing" initiative. It wasn't just simple carpet bombing like they did during the Great Purge. This was a full nuclear response. They intended to wipe #Community, a few of their Northern Forums, and more importantly #Gaming, off the face of the Internet entirely. I traveled to Gaming, even though I had rarely visited before. I saw hundreds of faces, weeping and begging for the Bungie leaders to not strike down their beloved home. They ignored their cries for mercy. Gaming was erased from existence by nuclear fire. Those who managed to migrate to Offtopic were met with Nativists who claimed to defend Offtopic from Heretics. I will admit, I was like these folks for a bit. But I eventually realized that Offtopic wouldn't be hurt as a result of Gaming refugees. Those who didn't escape... lets just say I saw the ruins. There wasn't much left. Of the land nor those who didn't make it out. I was pretty shaken up. I was never showed that level of cruelty and destruction, even when I was the one dealing it in my time in the army. That was when it wasn't enough to simply leave #Density. We had to fight back. I re-adopted one of my more popular identities, The Predictor, and snuck into Density once more to spy on them, telling and warning Offtopic if Bungie ever decides to pull a "downsizing" with Offtopic. I hope I never have to report that news. So that brings me to today. I occasionally get arrested and blocked up for "Breaking the Code of Conduct" while I was spying. They never figured out I was that former soldier that left so long ago, maybe because I changed my identity more times than you can count. I always come back, and I'm glad to call the sinking lifeboat of a forum that is Offtopic my family.

Gaming -> Offtopic. Simple enough.

I've already told this story a few times, so I won't regale you with the entire tale, but I come from the now desolate land of #Gaming. Bungie took the land they once gave to us. I fled here to avoid death.

I was here at the beginning but was slain by the precursor to the ninjas and then slain again by a man named Todd. This continues until the legend of Fish king and then he died by hacker and I arose from the ashes.