It's awful animation with cringey dialogue, which is perfect for you.

Anime sucks.[spoiler]Ha! Reverse psychology! I’ve convinced more people than all of you combined![/spoiler]

Anime is for gay furries

It's about Cory in the White House.

One armed kid does magic [spoiler]Terrible summary but you get the point[/spoiler] Lol [spoiler]@-@[/spoiler]

Dudes mom gets eaten by a giant; turns out dude IS a giant.

Mega T ¡T ¡ 3 5

A guy try’s to make peace with his past. A girl brings a boy back to life in color.

[quote] Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys who were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air" I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it" First class, yo, this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmm, this might be alright But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat? I don't think so I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested yet I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it" – "Yo, home to Bel-Air" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo home smell ya later" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air[/quote]

A detective with a gun for a head solves crimes in a cyberpunk/noir setting.

Pacific rim, except it's actually about a boy going through puberty and you end up having an existential crisis at the end

Giant robots fight with escalating stakes and size, until they're literally using galaxies as platforms.

[quote]Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony[/quote]

[i]”You may have outsmarted me, but I outsmarted your outsmarting!”[/i]

"I will give you one billion dollars to be interested in anime"