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originally posted in:The Black Garden
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Edited by The old North:
2/6/2014 2:55:19 PM
6
Destiny: Days without sun.
This story didn't seem to be getting much feedback so I thought I'd change the layout. an exert can be found onsite to read more easily now. the whole story (including other chapters) can still be found in the google doc's link.
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4 RepliesWow, this is really very good. The imagery you've created is very clear and consistent, and the characters are as well defined as you could make them in such a short piece. I'm a fan of your character dialogue most of all; a lot of fanfic tends to be padded with a lot of cliché, but you managed to keep everything very natural and realistic. My only suggestion is that this could benefit greatly from a proof-read. I'm kind of surprised nobody else has commented on this yet. Where can I read more?
