If this is for reals, then I'm extremely sorry and understand the feels. Some advice: #1.) Check with the hospital to see if they have any programs that can help. This will be a long, difficult process, but most hospitals have forms that you can fill out to allow them to discount or even completely write off your bills. Your family makes so little that it sounds like your step-dad should qualify without an issue. The hospital will most likely give you the runaround, because (let’s face it) they’re just in it for the money. There are also cancer donation funds that will help pay bills, along with making your own donation page for him (this has tax repercussions, as you have to count it as income). Look into it online and branch out from there. #2.) Stop smoking weed. If you want a job, most of the good ones drug test. (How old are you?) Apply to anywhere that will allow your hours. Supermarkets as a bag boy, Pizza Hut, Dollar Store, whatever. It doesn’t matter. With your first paycheck, fix your car. Don’t spend all your money on stupid things. Open a banking account and save at least 30% or more. Start building up your credit by trying to buy a new computer from Dell. (Don’t take out any credit cards if you can help it.) Make your monthly payments. The new computer will be for….. PROGRAMMING! #3.) Start learning on your own. Make a goal of learning how to make a game app, or something similar. Search for internships in your local area and scout out colleges that you want to go to. Depending on your age, this may require more attention. #4.) Start eating healthy and taking Vitamin D. Find something outside that you like to do, and do it. Yoga, walking, hiking, biking, whatever. Get MOVING. Exercise, eating right and Vitamin D all help to fight depression, as will they help your overall goals. Getting out, having a social life (it doesn’t have to be big), getting a job, getting healthy. #5.) Do things around the house. Do the dishes. Sweep the floor. Clean the bathroom. You may not be a maid, but you live in the same freaking house. Help out, and it’ll help you too. You keep feeling worthless because you keep not working on your problems. You’ve acknowledged them, acknowledged that you know what’ll help, and then haven’t done anything about it. You’re scared, and it’s okay to be. But failure happens to everyone, and if you fail at something, don’t give up, just try it again. If you want to PM me, feel free to. It helps to have someone to bounce ideas off of.