Hi CaLiE,
Can I have you try the steps here: http://www.bungie.net/en/Help/Article/12147 This can help determine if this is a home network configuration getting in the way or something upstream.
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I have done everything except for hard line my connection
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I recommend trying that. The best Destiny experience will be had with a strong, stable connection.
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I am connected with ethernet cable but still the same issues. ..canary