Title says it all, would be pretty funny considering the amount of hate people have about him for whatever reason. Cryptarch can be a blue elf and hand out coal.
Possibly even like the Halloween head we had to run around with santa hats
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Xur = Grynch, who stole Christmas (exotic engram) from the Cryptarch, and sold it to you for 7 strange coins. You in good faith, took this to the Cryptarch, who in turn gave you a mote of light. Rinse and repeat.