You woke up cuddling a man-sized spider?
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*Shrug* *Cuddles with spider more*
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Stick my morning wood in it and go back to sleep.
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Kill it with fire!
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Ride it around like a horse
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Shoot it with my kitten blasters
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Lick it's organ... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [spoiler]I'm talking about its spinneret you dirty bastard... >.>[/spoiler]
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Wonder why my breakfast is In my bed
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Stay. The sex must have been good if I was still there.
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Throw it off me and get into my car and if it comes out I would run that sucker down.
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Pray it doesn't kill me! A run if it tries to.
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Make it my royal steed, and ride it to victory against my foes.
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Try to slip the tip in
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Have sex with it.
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I'd name him Greg and give him post-it notes to relay messages to me.
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-blam!- it right in the pussy.
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Paint a smile on it and call it: Smile Spider or...... something
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erm.. fap?
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Squeeze so hard it bursts
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-blam!- it
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Edited by Jaaake AU: 11/18/2014 7:32:45 PMKill myself. Spiders scare me. Not as much as they used to. But if probably die if I saw a man sized spider
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I would tame it, name it Jeffrey, give it a mullet, get some guns then become overlord Putin and rule the entire world.
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Quit drinking
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GET THE -blam!- OUTTA THERE
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If the spider is mostly harmless, I'd keep it as a pet. Maybe teach it how to tend the fish. Every Halloween, it would coat the houses in webs, and leave a web-sign with the following: You all just got [i]WEBBED[/i]. Hah! *Web-shaped signature.*
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I'd be creeped out that I had been cuddling!