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originally posted in:Sol Guardians
9/10/2014 2:31:23 PM
11

Ocba Presents Planethopper's Guide to (Un)Intelligent Life

[b]Greetings Sol Guardian Members! (And all you who see this through your General feed)[/b] I am here to teach you all the things you need to know to transverse the our Sol-ar System and to deal with all the manner of vicious, deadly, eatable monstrosities that have invaded our sector. With this Guide, you'll always know where your towel is, what weaponry to use, and the best way to survive. Leave those electronic watches at home, we need your full attention. And don't mind the mice, they are my assistants and are far more intelligent than you. To start off, I will give you the first entry to this fantastic guide with our first Unintelligent species: [u][b]Guardians[/b][/u]: [i]Mostly Harmless[/i].

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  • [u][b]Dregs[/b][/u]: [i]Wish to have a conversation with a member of the Fallen? A Dreg is your best shot (This is hyperbole. If you shoot him, you won't be able to chat). Among the most intelligent of the Fallen, the best shooters, and most intelligent (for emphasis) these guys will tell you that they do not agree with their societial status. Along with their native language, Dregs speak Russian fluently and English, with a Russian accent. When conversing with one, try not to mention anything about Earth, Where they're from, how many times it was whipped today, what its knife is made from, why they want to kill us, and generally anything that concerns dietary nutriments (you don't want to know). As far as combat goes, these guys are like foot-soldiers. They will carry on them an energy-based hand cannon (more like a pistol than a cannon) and a knife. Rarely you'll find one who might have scrapped his gun for a second dagger. If you let them get close, and are -NOT- planning to chat, watch out for a blade between your armor plates. Their guns shoot straight, or maybe with a little curve. Its a quite beautiful blue plama flying at you, I'm always too mezmorized to tell. If you find one Dreg, expect a few others, and the ones directing them. A Dreg knows how to work in a team (more than some of you in the Crucible), you'll never find any alone.[/i]

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