I threw an axe at my boss, challenging him to a duel. It cleaved his assistants head off, due to my raw power.
He picked up his hand axe and round shield, bearing the insignia of the stone spearhead.
I was ready, my shield out with my house insignia the raven, eager to carry his soul to Hel.
He laughed as my axe was wedged a foot deep into his office wall, built of concrete and steel.
He charged at me, foam spitting from his mouth, screaming runes of destruction.
In my shield hand, my bearded axe gripped firmly, concealed from his sight. I waited until he was upon me, he leaped from his desk, in a powerful midair swing.
I used all of my might in a backhanded shield bash against his feeble right handed attack.
For I am left handed and not many right handed men train against one who is left handed, yet the left always face the right.
His arm and axe splintered, bone, wood, steel and blood splattered against my shield. His body span around from my might, reversing the shift of his weight with such force, his spine cracked.
With equal speed and force, I let my mighty bearded axe slip forward from behind its protective scale and swung inward to my right. It bit hard into his chest, sprays of arterial fluid rained as he gasped his final words...
See you on the 15th, enjoy your paid time off...
Toughest man I have faced yet, for he survived the battle and promoted me.
True story.
English
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(Looks around for a phone)...*whispers*. Hello 911...
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Pushes down the receiver. "Not yet, if he kills a few more people we can get loads of time off for PTS."