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8/26/2013 3:44:42 AM
57
There's a massive centipede on my wall right now. Freaking Out!
I will admit, when it comes to killing centipedes, I am a pussy. And since it's right at the corner of wall and ceiling, I would have to make a precise aim to hit it. If I miss, the fucker will run. It's been in the same spot for about 10 minutes. I don't know what to do.
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Move out.
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6 RepliesThe reason it's legs are so long is to spread your urethra and climb inside you while you sleep. If you kill it, it releases a distress pheromone that draws in its relatives who will also climb inside your urethra. Best thing to do is duct tape your urethra shut. You then have to approach it, swing your dick counter clockwise fifteen times while chanting "Bug bug go away, my dick doesn't want you to stay." Counter clockwise is important - clockwise is an invitation for him to invite friends over. Once you do this, he will leave and go down the street to the next house with a male dweller. The cycle continues.
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I recommend using one of these. Anything smaller than a 20mm will just be deflected by its force field.
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2 RepliesIf that thing was in my house this is why i would do Step 1: Call the Police. Step 2: Make sure to get a safe distance, with a gun in your hand If It starts to chase you, let all hell loose.
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Wait til it has children, then eat them all for a wholesome meal.
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Eat it.
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Edited by JohnnyLovesYou: 8/27/2013 2:22:32 AMAh. This might be tricky. You probably just need to keep your mouth closed. When the other person defecates, you know where its gonna go. You're probably going to need to become well familiarized with those you're attached to. You cant escape if you all hate each other. Well, at least you guys have [i]lots[/i] of time to bond (in more ways than you already are.) Maybe get a little sexy time in while you still can. Remember, there's going to be pain. At some point, the guy in the middle, or the end wont be able to take it anymore and will probably try to split off. It [i]will[/i] hurt. If you can, try to make it to a phone and call the cops. Its likely best that yo- Wait what. You mean like a [i]bug?![/i] OH! Um....
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i was reading the all of a sudden a bee flew right in front of my face. so scurred!
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2 RepliesJust be glad your not on skull island.
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1 ReplyEvacuate house. Beg shipmaster to glass continent
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4 RepliesEat it.
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2 RepliesDo a barrel roll.
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4 RepliesThis is a great time in a mans life, this is the time your cum shot accuracy is tested...
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8 RepliesOH SHIT!!!
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4 RepliesJust be glad it's not this big.
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2 RepliesGet a cup and a piece of paper.
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Kiss it.
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Take a painful crap on it.
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1 ReplyPet it
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1 ReplyIt's waiting for you to go to sleep so it can lay eggs in head.
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5 RepliesI found that in my room once.
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1 Reply*clicks picture* *massive goose bumps* *leaves*
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That sucks - must be pretty scary
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2 RepliesThat looks like it could crawl inside you. Also why are its legs so long?
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Throw a blanket over it!
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[i] [/i]
![TomSavage [bls]](/img/profile/avatars/pidmullinsworkavi.gif?cv=3983621215&av=1124364636)
