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originally posted in:Cancer
5/7/2013 5:59:12 PM
3

American Tourist Causes Panic on German Autobahns

American tourist and automotive enthusiast James Lambert has recently arrived in Germany with the intent of driving along the world-famous German highways and viewing the various sights along the way; such as grass, toll booths, and German people. German officials are urging the public to "watch out" for the American driver. Lambert will be driving in a rented black 2003 BMW M3 for the duration of his stay in Germany. Eyewitness accounts of Lambert are conflicting. Several eyewitnesses report that his car was traveling in excess of 200km/h, while others have stated that he never exceeded 10km/h. All reports seem to agree however that he preferred to drive in two lanes at once. "The idiot was talking on his cell phone and eating a hot dog at the same time while driving!" said German businessman Karl Benzanweinerschnitzlesteinbach in perfectly fluent English. The man who sold the hot dog to Lambert is currently being reached for an interview. Use of the Autobahn has dropped by a significant 0.8% since Lambert's arrival in Germany, but German media and news helicopters continue to put themselves in harms way by following him in the hopes of recording the best footage of when he crashes.

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