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2/1/2013 8:06:35 PM
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Why are modern animals so unbelievably lame compared to ancient ones?

[url=http://www.cracked.com/article_16117_6-formerly-kickass-creatures-ruined-by-evolution_p2.html]Relevant Cracked article.[/url] Whenever you look through the fossil record, one interesting fact seems clear- for most of the earth's history the planet has been full of vicious death machines that look like they're straight out of the notebook scribblings of a disgruntled teenager. But what do we have today? Bears, lions and hippos would be all jump for the chance to be a bottom bitch to a hyaenodon. Sloths used to be real-life Gutas, and austrailian aborigionals had to fight 20 foot long venom spitting flightless dragons. If god is real then after I die I want to have a long discussion about why he decided to start catering to filthy casuals.

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  • Animals today rock. You really want dinosaurs, and sabre tooth cats walking around? Dolphins all the way.

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  • Agreed; the scariest animals out there today are the ones that pretty much look the same way they did tens of millions of years ago. Maybe its the way we perceive these animals as opposed to modern ones? Obviously, what we think of as a "cool" or a "lame" or a "scary" animal is driven mostly by our instincts. And the instincts of early man were certain to be firing a red alert from the brain when we saw large claws, sharp teeth, and armored skin. On the other hand, our instincts say "cuddle it NAO" when we see lots of fur, large eyes, and a small mouth. Come to think of it, this is probably the exact opposite of dinosaur instincts.

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  • Even the ones that are still around were significantly larger than their modern species counterparts.

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  • Are T-Rex's considered evolutionary ancestors of modern birds? I was aware that specific dinosaurs were, but I don't know any specifics. Plus, I find it mind-boggingly interesting to comprehend that dinosaurs walked this planet millions of years ago. Seriously, freaking think about that for a second. Freaking dinos, dude.

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    1 Reply
    • Have you seen the goblin shark!?

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      • Aliens.

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