Two atoms were sitting in a bar. Atom 1: - I think i've lost an electron! Atom 2: - Are you sure? Atom 1 - I'm positive. A man was sitting in a bar. Then a panda comes in, walks up to the bartender and orders something to eat. When it has eaten, it pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender, and runs away. The man then follows the panda and asked it why it had shot the bartender. The panda says to the man that he should find the word panda in a dictionary. The man does that, and in the dictionary it says: Panda: eats shoots and leaves (this one is directly translated from swedish) Once upon a time there was an american, an arab and Bellman. They were standing at the top of the eifel tower. Then suddenly the american throws money down the tower. The arab and Bellman ask the american why he had done it, and he answers "we have so much of it in my country". Then the arab pours out oil from the tower. The american and Bellman asks the arab why he had done it, the arab answers "because we have so much of it in my country". Then Bellman tosses the arab down the tower. The american asks why he did it, and Bellman answers "because we have so much of them in my country". (sorry if this joke was a bit long and rasistic)