-Be me -On wrestling team -Matched up against Mexican -I perform a takedown -He hits floor -Him: Urggggghhhh! -I get on top of him no homo and hold him down -Tries to pin -Pins -Him: URGH! -His stomach gurgles -Shits his singlet -Smells terrible -Ref blows whistle to pause match -He keeps wrestling -Shit seeps from his singlet and smear on my -blam!-ing leg -He's disqualified -I have the shittiest victory ever

Someone drank a beaker of copper sulphate in my middle school.

At my school people smear their crap on the bathroom walls randomly throughout the year or they leave it on the hallway floor

Holy shit this things is 5 years old and in the highest rated category at the top lol. I didn't even know these forums were that old. Funny shit though

>Be me >Late 2013 >Year 12 Maths VCE exam >have indigestion for the whole lead-up to exams >need to take a huge bog halfway through exam >ask to go >get directed to a Toilet in a room next to the Exam room >unleash hellfire on the toilet >almost asphyxiate on the sheer stench of my bog >finish up >return to room >5 mins later, another guy goes in just as a strong gust of wind blows through the window of that bathroom >whole exam room smells like my intestines for the next 40 mins >mfw nobody even suspects it's me >( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So on the first day of school last year I didn't really want breakfast, but something sweet and snacky. I turned to a bag of haribo sugar free gummy bears I had gotten the other day, and this was a 2 pound bag. So throughout getting ready for school and on the bus I had eaten these, not knowing the mistake I was making, not knowing these seemingly harmless colorful gummies were a laxative basically. The school was brand new, freshly built and finished over the summer. My first class went by slowly but second block was when it happened. My stomach growled, twisted and rumbled. Slowly I was turning into a human volcano. I tried to hold it in but there was no stopping the inevitable. I rushed out of class to the new and clean bathrooms. I got ready as I was about to take this toilets virginity. I closed the stall and let the army of all that is foul out of my rear. The gate of hell had been opened and there was no way for it to close. The liquid coming out of me seemed unreal, it was like the chocolate waterfall from willy wonkas chocolate factory with the stench of 1000 skunks who had eaten from the sewer. I felt bad honestly, especially after the teacher came in after so long. He began to yell but heard what was happening. He asked of I was okay but all I could think of saying was sorry. He left after that. I was in there for another hour constantly erupting and flushing. It smelled so bad in there I nearly threw up but I couldn't. as everything inside of me went out my ass. When it stopped I had to clean up and ran out. Another person walked towards the bathroom and I told him to not go in there for the sake of all that is still holy. (This is not true but the haribo gummy bear laxative thing is actually true)

Super ultra mega necrobump

I couldn't ever forget that day. January 17th, 2011. Sophomore year. The night before I had taco bell for dinner. I had a cheesy ghordita crunch, a nacho supreme, and a crunch wrap supreme. For dessert I had chocolate ice cream drizzled in chocolate and caramel syrup. My stomach began to rumble in bed that night. the next morning I wake up, and have a bowl of left over chili for breakfast. Little did I know this was an ingredient that was part of a recipe for disaster. I get to school to find out my friend brought donuts and was too full to eat the rest, so I had to chocolate bars and a maple bar. I then dug into my backpack where I kept my monster energy drink for the day. Then second period hit. I began to feel the 8,000 grams of sugar rotate and expand itself inside of me. The amount of toxic gases that had built up in my rectum were so thick and great in number it could have caused a devastating earthquake that could have caused the end of the world. I knew an epic fart was on its way, so I squeezed my buttcheeks as hard as I could. The gasses were pounding on the black gate, but gondors men stood strong. One of my buttcheeks looked to the other, and said "if we stick together, we can stop this shit". Then it happened. Shit began propelling out of my asshole like an intergallactic missile, literally shredding through my underwear and jeans, flying into the mouth of the poor girl behind me. Poor Stacy. She was only 15 years old. She drowned in my shit, as did nearly the entire class. the only reason a few of us survived is because the teacher swam through the sea of shit and vomit of the students and opened the classroom door just in time. It was like a canal had broken and the shit rivers were running through the school. I did over $3,000 worth of property damage, and caused about 850 people to vomit. Of course this story isn't true, but I thought it'd be funny. to be honest one time a farted and it did stink really bad.

I was once at a pep rally inside an auditorium and me and a friend were right under the balcony where the second level front chairs were at. Halfway through the show everybody was getting up from their chairs and cheering and then a sudden realization happened. Some student decided fap one out and nut right off the second floor. it landed all over my friends hair and face. What was the sudden realization, you ask? Well, when it happened, some landed in his mouth, I saw him lick his lips and say: [b]this tastes like cum, I got cummed on![/b] That day I found out that my friend was a nutjuice connoisseur, no wonder he kept blowing off the girls I tried hooking him up with.

[u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u] [u][b]Stop Posting in This Thread ninjas please lock this[/b][/u]

1: my friends PE shoe got rained on, tied to a fence, thrown in the trash, put in the shower, put in the toilet, and finally dumped on. TWICE 2:same friend got his calculator pooped on and ran over by a car 3: a bird got put in the microwave

one time there was this autistic guy at my school and my friends and i convinced him to participate in that ALS ice bucket challenge and we filled up a bucket with pee and poop and told him it was a bucket of ice we filmed him pouring it on himself

Two 12 yr olds skipping a class period and having you know what

I was once outside with some friends and they started daring each other to eat something (I wasn't a part of it thank god) but let's just say one thing led to another and I've never seen more vomit in one place in my life. [spoiler]Prim gets burned alive in hunger games part 2[/spoiler]

Bump

I saw a dude get his ass kicked in the bathroom, he was taking a piss and I was on lookout. My friend grabbed him while the dude still had his dick out and forced him to stand with his dick in the opening of the stall door. Another guy slammed the door on his dick. Guy collapsed and we took off. Dude went to the hospital and never ratted again.