https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSW9CgVNueQ
Red Band Version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHdBVsxTij0
Censored Version
I apologize for nothing.
Are you tired of getting pooped on in the Crucible? Palindrome got you you down? Let's face it. Does your aim suck? Well -blam!- that!
You need the HARD LIGHT in your life.
The only Omolon product manufactured exclusively with 3D printers. Bullets? What the -blam!- are those? Hard Light fires super heated polymers! Plastic forged in the furnace of Vulcan himself spews out the front of this instrument of death like the last performance of Deadmau5 in a Moscow disco tech. Have epilepsy? No? You -blam!-ing do now! So, does every other person who happens to be standing within 50 meters of this beast. That's a level playing field friends. Did I miss my target? Doesn't matter because shells fired from Hard Light rattle around Drifter like Pac-man. Range? What the -blam!- does that even mean? Don't run! You will only die tired! Hard Light defies the natural laws of physics with UNLIMITED range. Ever been "killed by the architects" on Anomaly? BULL $#!T! You were killed by rounds fired on Timekeeper during a Trials match 2.25 years ago from a bad mofo packing Hard Light.
I know what you want to ask. "Why does a weapon with 100 Aim Assist and Stability shake so bad?" URBAN -blam!-ING LEGEND! I called Michael J. Fox and he says that Hard Light is the steadiest weapon he has ever had the good fortune to place his beautiful hands on. Rate of fire you ask? Reload you ask? Your enemies will be taking it in the face faster than a Miami adult film actress with an over due rent check!
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS!!! GO GET YOUR HARD LIGHT TODAY!
Edit
Sorry it took so long for the video. I have never done one like this before so there was trial and error. If you enjoy it please let me know. I plan on doing these in the future and will always post the scripts here first; because if you wouldn't have thought this was funny I would have never attempted to make this for you guys. Please leave me Exotic Primary suggestions in the video comments for the next one. Thank you again. I had so much fun doing this. I'm not a Youtuber; but I hope you laugh.
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Niceu bro this was clean.
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Edited by Mara’s dirty laundry: 6/14/2017 8:05:16 PMThis. This made me laugh. The video was great as well! 👍
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You should do sleeper simulant and keep the theme of bouncy lasers
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Edited by New_Age_Cap: 6/14/2017 4:44:52 PM10 Kills with Hard Light, 11 with Ashraven's Flight and 11 with the sword. Well, it just shows, Ashraven's Flight and a sword are better than Hard Light, but who would have guest, that you can get 10 Kills with it!? XD (not sure, if the link above works, so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMOoSS823NI)
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Funny post but Hardlight is a trash can
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Michael J. Fox could've warned us about vanilla Destiny.
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Just woke the neighbours laughing at this video. And They're on holiday in new York!
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Enemies will take it in the face more than a Miami porn actress whose rent is over due. Fukin GOLD.
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I like the video better playing it muted with a TTS narrator with a robotic UK accent... http://ttsreader.com/ Anyone want to volunteer a more human version of it?
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You need it to for the great feeling of dismantling it
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That vid had me laughing out loud more than once. Like, people turning and wondering what was so funny laughing out loud. Michael J. bit? Phuccing GOLDEN!
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But what if i'm not worthy to use the hard light? I don't trust myself.
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This is gold lmao.
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Hard Light would actually be really op without the screen shake.
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[b] Hardlight[/b] is AWESOME indeed. It's the only weapon I wanted to take into D2 😐. I'm not sure yet if I can play Destiny without it. Been slogging it through WW1 in another game while taking a break from Destiny and was disappointed that it won't be making a comeback.
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Lol this is awesome
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Good job! Funny!
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Edited by WhatizLifeBro: 6/14/2017 4:50:24 PMHere's a tip. Don't copy and paste the entire commentary from the video into the post...just post the link. Trust me...also let's try not to make fun of people with diseases. I know you're trying to be edgy but it's just not funny. That man is actually going through some real shit yet some wannabe on youtube wants to make fun just for the sake of "humor". Go get a job your channel sucks.
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Best video I have seen in awhile. I also actually dig using Hardlight. Once you get used it being the fact that it rattles like a rusty muffler, you can actually do some serious damage.
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I read this in Mister Torgue's voice.
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Love the video! I too can't read it in anything but torgue, good stuff. My buddy here doesn't know anything about destiny looked over and started laughing a lot about the epilepsy part!
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I would pay good American Dollars to hear Mister Torgue do Destiny gun/armor reviews. My life would be complete if he did the PEREGRINE GREAVES meme.
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I could see super good advice as a joke and using the "JUST DO IT" emote tying those two together or the pocket infinity would be a good one
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Seems Sentinel will go and buy Hard Light from the kiosk now. [i]~Sentinel America[/i]
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Actually pretty funny!
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10/10 Do Thorn or Gjallerhorn next. Something famous haha.