CHAPTER 1. i woke up all i can see is ruined cars dead trees and a little light, wake up guardian the little light said. were am i what are you i said, there is no time to explain were you are but i am called ghost. just get up and go the ghost said, so i got up and walk a round i was thinking in my head what happen here were am i and how can i trust this ghost. we both head inn this big ship it look like two people were on it, one was driving and the other one siting next to him or her. welcome aboard they both said. i sat down with my ghost and then they told me everything i need to know, wow that is a lot to take in i said. whelp there is more, the ship starts and fly up to the sky.
welcome to the tower the driver said. it was a big building like 70 stores high i was shock when i saw it. there was lots of guardians. we went to the hanger and got off, the driver said you should go to the vanguard, so me and my ghost went to the vanguard while we were walking my ghost told me that this is tower number is 7887 and it was in the middle of a big city. we look around we saw like 4 towers. we made it to the vanguard, there was a awoken warlock, exo titan and not but last there was a human hunter. i went to the hunter and told him everything, well then i geuss your new whelp your going to do a mission the vanguard hunter said, ok i said.
next chapter is chapter 2 the mission.
[spoiler]Moderator edit: This thread has been updated with tags that are more appropriate.
Feel free to private message the moderator who moved your post, link to topic, for further clarification about why this topic was moved.[/spoiler]
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Aight man, I appreciate the effort but that was difficult to read. Nay, painful even. "Use quotations around dialogue," he said with wry satisfaction at dismantling such poorly constructed prose. Make sure that each sentence has proper punctuation, capitalization, and spelling, and make doubly sure that each time you introduce a new idea you use a new paragraph. This includes when a different character is speaking. I think it's great you're writing, and I want you to improve. As a side note, I am hesitant to call this, with its lack of detail and content, a chapter. I don't know what else it would be, but I suppose it's a rather nebulous word to begin with.
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Edited by The Warden: 3/2/2017 7:29:32 PMEdit-Nearly forgot: this belongs in #Community, not #Lore. Work on punctuation. [spoiler][b]498 Light?[/b] You're only 5 when you start (not counting item transfers), unless you're going with that for a title.[/spoiler]
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With all the salt and abuse this forum spews on a daily basis, I'm happy to see it actually hasn't got to you. Well done.
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That's actually very good if you continue to work on your skills and improve you could make a very great story one day
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Good effort, just keep exercising those writing skills and you will get better and better. Don't let others discourage you. Keep strong and believe in yourself. If you won't be your own biggest fan, who will?
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Nice, but work on quotations and punctuation
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Great effort! Work on those errors and you have the potential to write a great story!
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Most chapters in a story are [b]a lot[/b] more than two paragraphs.
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You should be ashamed. Much bad. Very cringe
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Edited by Timmie: 3/1/2017 5:01:18 AMhttps://www.blogger.com/