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Edited by IntrepidTurtle:
9/23/2015 1:11:25 AM
28
War Of The Neighbors Part 2: FORE!
Y'all bleemarshalls asked for it, and kiddo supplied. So, this kid comes up to my door this morning and he looks quite composed as oppose to yesterday's squabble. I open the door and he has a golf club in his hand.
Kiddo: You're gonna pay for my window...
Me: *pulls out golf club as well* Nah. *closes door*
Being the gentleman and scholar this kid is, he decides to start breaking down my firewood storage with his club. I just sit and watch this go down and he is tiring himself out at an accelerated pace. He eventually breaks it down.
Me: Hey, if you want my wood that bad you could just take me out for a nice meal!
Kiddo: *gives middle finger and walks back into house*
He wants to play golf? Let's play golf...
>grabs better golf club
>kiddo is playing BattleField Hardline in his room
>yafukinpleb.jpg
>muffled speach from outside
>kiddo opens window
>FORE!
Golf ball breaks off piece of shitty wall.
Me: Par!
Kiddo: *throws another football*
Me: You have another? FORE! *ball breaks off another piece of the wall* Oh, bird!
Kiddo: STOP -blam!-ING UP MY WALL! *throws yet another football at me*
Me: HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU HAVE?! FORE! *golf ball hits kiddo in arm* EAGLE!
Kiddo: Now you're -blam!-ed. That's assault!
Me: You just threw 2 -blam!-ing footballs at me. Both hitting me in the face just because you hate me cuz I'm beautiful.
The kiddo just closes his window and scuddles back into his little cave for the rest of the day... But I work at night... Kiddo decides to come to my workplace and talk shit about me... to one of my best friends... just as I was walking up...
Buddeh: -Sounds like you're at fault, man.
Kiddo: NO I'M -blam!-ING NOT!
Me: Hey, guys. What's up?
Buddeh: This the guy?
Kiddo: Yeah, he's gonna assault me again!
Buddeh: ...I'm his friend...
Me: So, what are you doing here?
Kiddo: I'm about to go tell your management you assaulted me.
Me: Y'know, they don't give a -blam!- if it's out of the workplace, right? And I didn't do shit. Self defense isn't illegal.
Kiddo: I -blam!-ing bet. *walks inside*
One half-hour passes and I see the kiddo being escorted out of the building by AP. Apparently he decided to be truthful and tell them about he hit me first. What a nice guy, amirite? Nothing else from him for the rest of the night.
Part 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/155015032
Part 3: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/155623687
-
Edited by JOKER 4U2NV: 11/26/2015 7:14:13 PMNintendo Power Review The staff at Nintendo Power wishes to see the "Kiddo's" demise at the ending of this thread series, such as "Buried in dag SHITE!," -(Steve Thomason), "Falls off something and snaps his neck," -(Nick Ellis) or even " Have the Predator come out of now for the the middle of butt-blam!- no where space and rip the Kiddo's and his family's spinal cords and skulls out of them." -(Mathew Castle). The only complaint is the old man should hit a golf ball at the "Kiddo" and some how miss, but comes back at him and hits him right in his pecker and his nut sack. - 9/10 Not enough hurting of the nut sack.
