It was 2am when I saw that little piece of evil. Waiting, plotting, scheming at the foot of my bed.
In his eyes I could see the very souls of those whose lives he had already taken. So I did what any sensible adult would and proceeded to spend the next hour attempting to dispose of him. Through tears and the rising urge to vomit, I finally succeeded in trapping the terror under a styrofoam cup from Chick Fil A.
And that's when I realized; what did I plan to do from there? I knew if I attempted to even so much as touch the cup he would viciously and mercilessly strike. Yet if I left it there I could never return to the warm, comfort of my bed. So I did the reasonable thing and weighted the cup down and hopped onto my trusty console to escape into the world of Destiny. I knew that, come morning, my roommate would awake and that they would take care of the killer. After all, they were a master at disposing of evil. I, on the other hand, had barely been able to kill one such evil without dying of fright.
Truly, it must be paradise to live without such a crippling fear of these poor, misunderstood creatures. Alas, I would not know that, for I see only pure chaos when I look upon these creatures.
Remember children, if you come across a spider do not confront it. Trap it under a styrofoam cup (plastic works as well) and wait until the proper authorities are available. We must protect our youth.
[quote]Ninja Edit
[spoiler]Hello OP (or anyone who has decided to open the spoiler and read all of this).
I'm one of the Bungie.Net Ninjas. We may have met before, we may have interacted, you might have heard of us, or you may have no clue as to who we are and what we do. Well, this little note is to explain some of the things we do. One of the major roles we play is to handle the reports that come in whenever a member clicks on the "Report" button, to let us know that there is a post, a topic or a user that either doesn't understand or isn't following the rules that we all agreed to follow when we joined. But that's not the Ninja function that brought on this note.
The reason I am writing this is because I have retagged your thread. Bungie.Net uses hashtags to designate their major forums and to help keep things organized. Your OP (original post) was opened, created or given a hashtag that well, wasn't the best choice. It could have been that you were browsing through the [u][url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Categories]various forum/tags[/url][/u] that are available on the site or app, and clicked on "New Topic" while in a forum that didn't "match up" with the subject matter of your OP. Or, you may have thought "this belongs here", when unfortunately, it doesn't.
That's another role of the Bungie.Net Ninjas. We not only try to keep things fun, pleasant and welcoming here by removing rule-breakers, but we also want EVERY good topic to have the best chance to survive, thrive, find the right audience, and get lots of on-topic replies. And so, I have retagged your topic to move it to the forum where it has the best chance of doing that.
I give you my word that I have not altered a single letter or character of your Original Post, just placed this message below it and set the tag to better describe your topic. You may notice that you are unable to edit this post anymore. That is a part of the system, and I apologize for any inconvenience that it may have caused. I've not replied or commented on your OP, since this message would most likely be "off-topic" to your thread and when members see a Ninja or Mentor (who are volunteers from the community) or even a Bungie employee post, they tend to go a little crazy and the disruption to the thread becomes a distraction. I don't want that to happen to your thread. I want it to be in the BEST place possible, to be seen by the largest audience who is looking for this sort of topic, I want it to take root, get replies, grow strong and make these forums a better place.
If you have any questions, you should feel free to PM me. My name is now in the upper right corner of your OP where it says "edited by".
Thanks for your patience, thanks for being a part of this community, thanks for taking the time to read all of this (I hid it in a spoiler so that anyone who clicked couldn't complain about "too long, didn't read"), and thank you in advance for creating your future topics with the forum/tag location in mind.
--Cheers[/spoiler][/quote]
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I've killed them with books, with weights, with basket balls, with shoes, with Lysol, with vacuum cleaners, with toilet flushing. But I think it's only made the spider race madder... They're always out to get me.