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5/27/2010 7:38:27 AM
31
So, I'm writing a story. Title: Crystal [Latest version]
I'm writing a story. There was another one I was writing, but it was suck, so I stopped writing it. This is a sample of my story, and I want you guys to give me your opinion.
Skip to last page for latest version.
[Edited on 06.24.2010 6:28 PM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] UNSCFireWillCome [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Cloxverto Eh. Wasn't detailed enough, the beginning left me thinking 'wtf is going on', it got better later, reminded me of when the Spartans had their training excercise on Reach in the book 'Fall of Reach', as kids. Honestly, not that great. Could use a lot of work. Build characters, make sure the reader knows what's going on, give them a reason to keep reading, etc. Keep workin on it. Edit: Yes I DID read it all.[/quote]Well, it [i]is[/i] just a sample. I've got about 5 more pages leading up to this one.[/quote] If you'd like feedback, you can PM me a few pages of it, and I'd be happy to read through it all either tonight or in the morning, and send you back my thoughts.
