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《天命2》

討論《天命2》的所有事情。
2/9/2021 7:57:35 PM
6

Canceled Days, Page 1: O Stalker Mine (You’re Creepy on a New Level)

[spoiler]Last year I promised a sequel to my Crimson Days series, Other Other Half. And here it is! The second year of this absurd romantic comedy has begun! Crimson Days may have been canceled this year, but that won’t stop me from giving you a good laugh with a dash of gooey emotion! For those of you who are new and haven’t read Other Other Half, do not fret! It’s only 8 [i]*very short*[/i] chapters and will take almost no time at all to read. Just click the link to the Table of Contents below and dive in. (By the way, the “notes” mentioned in this chapter are the pages of Other Other Half) Enjoy![/spoiler] [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/255163108/0/0]Table of Contents[/url] You must be [i]so[/i] jealous, o stalker mine. Yeah, that’s right, I’m on to you. I know you’ve been raiding my stash. I know you stole my notes [i]-I swear, if you ever dare to call it a diary I will find you and shove a knife where the Light don’t shine quicker than you can say “Gjallardoodles.”[/i] But, hey, don’t worry, sicko. Your sorry butt is safe, for now. Why am I blessing you with my grace and forgiveness? Well, first off, a Hunter’s stash is a matter of pride and I’m practically honor-bound to applaud you for finding mine. That takes some skill, I suppose. Or an unholy amount of stalking. Seriously, you better not be stalking me, creep. Second, it’s clear that you’ve kept your mouth shut about my notes. If you hadn’t, obviously word would have spread and I’d be a laughingstock. So…thanks, scumbag. You live another day. Anyway, when I found out you’d stolen my notes my first thought was “Why only the notes?” Actually, my first thought was “What the hell” then “Hold on” then “oh, Traveler, no” then “Somebody’s gonna die” then…well, you get the idea. Eventually I came to the conclusion that you took nothing but my notes. Which is creepy on a new level I can’t even begin to describe. But after that realization the answer was obvious. You’re into it. Most likely, jealous. You’re probably drooling over -oh, Traveler, nope, not even gonna finish saying that. The imagery is too gross. So I’ve got a deal for you. It’s clear you’re interested in my secret, and you’ve earned a tiny -minuscule, really- speck of my trust for keeping my secret a secret. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna turn a blind eye and ignore you. It would be too much of a pain to find a new locale and relocate my stash, so I’ll let you raid it and read my notes [i]-ugh, I’m gonna throw up. Seriously, dude, words cannot express how disturbing you are.[/i] IN EXCHANGE, all you’ve gotta do is return what you’ve stolen and not steal anything else. You can bust in and read my stuff, then leave it and get out. And never tell a soul or I will personally do something to you so graphically violent that I don’t even want to bother describing it. End of story. So, obviously -since you’ve read my notes- you know the truth now. You’re in on my secret. The horrible, blasphemous crime I’ve committed. The vile, unforgivable act that would disgrace me as a Hunter and surely see me exiled from the City if word ever got out: I’m dating a Warlock.

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