So some shit happened and honestly I just need to vent. I don't expect any sympathy. In fact, I expect a lot of ridicule... Let me start by saying I love my current girlfriend of two years more than life itself. I'd do anything to give her the world. And that's why I feel terrible about these emotions that i've felt the past day... A girl I dated from 13 to 17 (my best friend since I was barely able to walk) called me the other day... and while I should've never answered, I did. And I know it was wrong and immoral, but when I saw that name for the first time in two years, something inside me just, cracked. We talked, laughed, reminisced, we had the best time any two people could have on a phone call. Then midnight came around, and she said she had to go, But before she left. She had to tell me something. She's let me know she was getting married... we said one last goodbye, and she was gone. And I can't even begin to put into words how happy I am for her, she's finally found a man that's going to treat her like I never did. With love and care and respect. When I had her I was young and stupid and I lost her. I'll be honest and say I never truly appreciated her till she was gone. What this is all leading up too is that while I don't love her the way I love my girlfriend, my future wife hopefully. I just had to cope with the sudden realization that I can never talk to her again. I lost that right when we left eachother. And I'm aware it was for the greater good. Because we're both happy now, finally. Its just this, inexplicable pain in the pit of my stomach I guess is the best way to describe it. Never take anything in life for granted, especially you younger kids reading this. Please don't take things for granted. Parents, friends, and especially you're first true romance. My sincerest apologies for my venting, and I honestly expect nothing but ridicule and hate for this post. And that's okay, haha, I deserve it. Much love to any and all who take the time to read my ramblings. <3 TL;DR: old gf called and said she's getting married. Beyond happy for her but still hurt in a way I can't put into words. (Longer version makes much more sense) Edit: this song came on ( https://youtu.be/7a_NkNDRWEU ) while me and my girl were riding to Atlanta for a date.... she saw me grit my teeth to fight back tears and had me tell her what was wrong. She wasn't mad at me, she wasn't even slightly aggrevated. She made me pull over and told me to get in the bed of the truck and she just held onto me. And I think I really just realized how lucky I am, how unbelievably lucky I am to have someone who loves me enough that they would just hold me when I'm hurt, no matter where the hurt is from. I want to propose. Edit 2: I have no idea how someone proposes... do I buy a ring? Do I buy two rings or some shit? Is there like specific places or things you say??