Who are you? I am Legion, so as to make it easier not to pick an answer, and piss one of me off. What's your real name? I said Legion Dammit! What more do you want from me!? Who is it this time? Hopefully not Dakota, he may be a good friend, but he always gives me the chills. What do you need us for? You are all the culmination, of a thousand lifetimes of planing. You are our only hope for the future. Where are we? Somewhere... Lost in time... What do you mean "we"? You thought there was only one in this head of mine... *smiles grimly* You were mistaken... Are you going to help me now or not? Come on man we've known each other for years, you don't have to be so worried. Ill always come through. Whats the matter? Nothing... Ready to go eat? Whats going on? I was about to ask you... The same thing... What the hell did you do!? Shit! I don't know man, how the hell do we turn this thing off!? Are out of your mind!? No, It was a mistake! I didn't foresee this at all! WHAT THE -blam!- DID I DO WRONG!? You blew them up man! You killed every last one of them! So what can I do for you? MMM gurl you know what I like so just take me! What're you afraid of? You know the normal things. Being alone, bears, dying, the color yellow, lobsters... Why would I lie to you? I don't know man... With everything going on, its hard to trust anyone. Where is it? Its in the hands of an ordinary citizen. What? Gjallarhorn? Yeah man! Just use the damn thing!!! Okay, lets see what this puppy can do. What's in the holiday package? Dismantled dreams... Actually Time on target. You want names in addresses? Kinda yeah why? How much is that? That will be 25 cents. How can you be wrong? Were only human. You wanna -blam!- with me!? Yeah, lets see what your made of. Who is your daddy, and what does he do? An astronaut! Who told you you can eat my cookies? You did, 10 years from now. ARE YOU SERIOUS!? Absolutely. And you expect me to believe you? Not like you have a choice. Get in! Could I borrow your pen please? Dude you always steal them... How real does it seems? As real as you perceives. What about the guy you just t-bagged, did he get his vengeance? Yeah... Shot me in the dick... Think you're some space magician? A furious space magician! Does my body disgust you? No, your just scared... So much pain, so many stories... Ill listen to them, ill take care of you. Who is my daddy, And what does he do? Dude hes a -blam!-in space wizard! What the -blam!-!? -blam!- you man, im sick of your tone! So what's your point? Well, if we never try than we will never know. You really have no idea what you're doing, do you? That's why they call it improvising! WHAT KILLED DA' DINOSAURS!? Yo brah, -blam!-in aliens. What kind of cop are you anyway? A "dirty" cop. Crawls across interrogation table. Are you a henchmen? Sometimes, but only if I'm in the company of skilled individuals. What good is the crota sword against sorcery? it can slice a mighty big peace of magic cheese. And what the hell where you thinking? I dont know man, i didnt see the conciquences. Am I being annoying to you? Nah, was I? Huh? Why cant you just -blam!-ing listen for once!? What are you talking about? Nothing, just ignore it. Sorry it took so long, I hope you enjoy these answers! One question for you though. What console? I mean it's terrific, right?

Xbone.

Sad day, well I'll be there by may

No worries, I look forward to see you by then, or whenever you upgrade. [spoiler]P.S. I'm also from Florida. ;)[/spoiler]

Nah!? What part?

Lake County, about an hour to an hour and a half from Orlando.

I feel terrible, so many things have come up these past few days related to family and friends. Your hilarious reply is on the way.

I swear, I will seriously come back to answer all these so that you can laugh just as hard as I did. Thank you for this. You win the Internet for today sir.