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10/22/2013 9:22:19 PM
4
I'd describe it more such as
[quote]The Warden walked over to Daniel. As he raised his baton, he grinned slightly before bringing it down on the helpless man.[/quote]
That would be what I write.
English
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But it's from Daniel's perspective? Wouldn't writing it like that be counterproductive? somehow? I just feel like it would be weird...
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If it's third-person, it sounds much better. Go off the saying "Show, don't tell." Describe what is happening rather than just bluntly saying it. Put an image in the reader's head or it becomes fairly boring after a while. If it is in third-person, I'm curious as to how it's from one character's perspective. Would you be able to post the few sentences before/ after so it is easier to fit in?
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I guess I'm asking a dumb question...I'm trying to keep my writing consistent, and I want all the writing in my story to be from Daniel's perspective... But I have to describe other character's actions...so yeah... I'm simply asking what tense and perspective to use. I'll work on the quality of it.
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Well think of it like this; you need to describe what is happening to put a picture in the readers eye. For example, ask yourself some questions; Where are they? Describe where they are; on the street? In a prison? What is it like? Is it dark? Sunny? Raining? Who else is around? What do they look like? What are they wearing? What are they holding? What is their facial expressions? What are they doing? Is Daniel being beaten because he's an inmate? Is he being hit or slapped or kicked? Is Daniel trying to resist or shielding himself by cowering in a corner? The list could go on. Of course, some of that may have already been explained. But do you see what I mean? Third person writing will pretty much always describe all the characters, not just the protagonist.
