Something I’m trying out. Another crappy (?) story.
[spoiler]For clarification, I came up with another character, and this will probably be his official backstory.[/spoiler]
Sen sat in his chair, at a computer desk. He was working on a device that could easily transfer one’s consciousness between bodies.
[spoiler]As you can probably tell, this guy’s crazy.[/spoiler]
He was alone in the building. The only sound was his desk fan, and the midnight rain pounding on the roof.
On the walls were motivational posters, and pictures of past inventors.
The phone rang, and startled Sen. He picked up the phone.
“Hello? Who is this?”
A regretful voice came through the speaker.
“To who am I speaking?”
“This is Sen Jerinkov, what do you need?”
[spoiler]I’m not good at making names, ok?[/spoiler]
“Well. Your parents have passed away.”
Sen’s heart sank. “What?”
“They were murdered. I’m sorry.”
Without hanging up, Sen left the building and went to his parents’ house.
[quote]2 months later....[/quote]
Sen had become a madman, still grieving the loss of his parents. He had given up his life as an inventor and scientist.
He was at his house, running experiments on a rat. The rat was mutated, with scales, rather than fur. It also grew wings.
Someone knocked at the door. Sen ignored it, too focused on his experiment to be bothered. They knocked again. Angrily, Sen threw down his notepad, and went to open the door. At the door was a woman. He opened the door.
“What do you want?”
“You are Sen Jerinkov, correct? I was told I’d find you here.” In the driveway was a police car.
“You are correct. What’s stopping me from shutting this door in your face?”
“Your parents, Jason and Mary Jerinkov.”
Sen’s expression turned cold. “Don’t you ever mention those names, you hear me?”
“We found the man who killed them.”
He went from angry, to surprised within seconds.
“What? Where is he?”
“In the car. Do you want to speak with him?”
“Come with me.”
Sen followed her to the side of the car. The window rolled down, and revealed a grizzled man.
Sen punched the man in the face. He did nothing to fight back.
“Why did you kill them?!”
No answer. Sen punched him again.
The man looked up.
“He told me to.”
“The president, ringleader. He had me brainwashed, and used me as a mindless puppet.”
Sen ran back into the house, locked the door and closed the blinds.
He sat down at his desk, and pushed his papers and rat experiment aside.
“Well. You need to learn, your actions have consequences, Mr. president.”
He pulled a blueprint for a star destroying machine out of a folder.
“I knew this would come in handy.”
I know that this story isn’t perfect, so sorry about that.
[quote]No, Ringleader had nothing to do with the death of Sen’s parents. As far as I know, he hasn’t been involved in anything like that. The man was just pinning the blame on him.[/quote]
Ok guys look, this guy isn’t me. I’m doing two characters now.
This is a pretty interesting read, and I can say that you are getting better at this. One thing though, just be more descriptive of the characters actions and the setting itself (i.e. the rat's description was kind of basic), I got lost a few times and had to re-read them over, but other than that this is pretty good, here's to hoping that you write more and get better at it as time moves on.