I cant use what i like, i have use what the meta is, and its been hand cannon/pulse and shotgun for atleast 5-7 seasons, bungie even says that use whats good instead of balancing the game, bungie even uses these op weapons such as austringer, people leave matches and no players join mid match, longer queue times, unbalanced matchamking (teams are deffo not balanced to SBMM, meaning players in my team are similar skill but player on the enemy team are far better), players who are far better than me play against me.
Sure SBMM helps the casual destiny player but lets be honest, its really bad, its just like before but worse now you are guaranteed sweats in pvp, and im a 2.2 kd, before i was a 3.2, SBMM ruined my fun in crucible to use what i want, not what bungie wants, i used last word from season 11 till now (nerfed), i used dmt since relese (nerfed), i used glaciocalsm since relese (nerfed), i used snipers since d1 (nerfed), everything has been nerfed that i liked using and wasn't even meta. The Last Word was not op in any way, my reasonings are simple, so many healing items counter last word three tap potential, just because it was top 4 most used on a cqc map that wants you to use cqc weapons in trials does not mean its used in p 6's and last word is so bad currently that even a 360 auto from close range has better chances of killing me. And makinf arc 3.0 so damn fast at every subclass also buffs shotguns, why? Because you can get closer to your enemy faster. Just make it so you cant melee after shooting a shotgun for 1 second.
Bungie for me just keeps ruining crucible even more and its sad that they dont care about crucible, because it has so much potential. It all started with cross playe ruining the servers and causing network latency, then came in these opilence weapinsbtaht are still meta, the came in SBMM which tore the pvp community in half and ruined the chances of using weapons that you like.
That was the beauty in d1, you could use anything in crucible in d1 and it was goo, literally everything was good. In d2 its just shotguns and hc/pulse now.
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Sounds like you are getting outplayed by supposed skill peers. You'll get better with time. A steady diet of casuals made hardcore players weak.