You'll need to contact Microsoft concerning recovering your XBL ID.
If you cannot authenticate to an account, you'll be unable to unlink it.
Bungie will not forcefully unlink it for you.
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I tried doing that and I gave them all my information to reset it but they wouldn’t give me the confirmation email or anything. I know the other option is to unlink my current account and just make a new bungie account but I’ve heard I’ll lose a lot of the stuff I’ve earned
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You'll need to continue working with Microsoft to recover the account. If you create a new Bungie.net profile, you will lose everything that's tied to your current Bungie.net profile, such as rewards redeemed through Codes, Bungie Rewards, and the like. It may also cause an issue with Twitch Prime rewards as well if you have them linked to this profile.