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originally posted in: Old Unfinished Stories
8/26/2022 9:26:04 PM
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You know, one vampire trope I really love is when the vampire has a food source who's willing to give them blood, but they don't like taking it and try to avoid it as much as possible. That didn't really happen here, but it reminded me of it, and it's really fun. Like, for a while I had this big idea for a series of vampire stories, and in the first one the protagonist was a human, while her adopted mum was a vampire. I really loved their character dynamic, and it was pretty much the only thing that I actually made for that story. Anyway, tangent aside, I liked this first one (haven't read the second yet). Autumn and Winter have this weird dynamic between them, where they kinda seem to both love and hate eachother at the same time, and that's pretty nifty. I will say that when Autumn got mad, it felt really sudden, but other than that it was good fun. I think my favorite bit is when she just apologizes about the leg, and Winter's like, "Huh?", and it's just like "Yeah, I made you fall down the stairs once.". :p
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  • Yeah the anger kinda requires a bit more of an explanation due to old lore stuffs, but the gist of it was the big bad evil thing killed Winter and wore her face to do some evil, then it killed Autumn and took her face to do even more evil. That was from like 2018 I think? Bleh.

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  • Oh, I know all that. I was more meaning the way it came across in the story. Like, it felt there wasn’t enough buildup to it, and she went from being totally calm to being super angry in an instant.

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  • Oh! Yeah, I'm pretty sure these were both first drafts and hadn't gotten the usual look overs. I'd probably dial the "shaking with rage" bit down to more annoyed, maybe a cruel jab. I think that'd fit the scene better and show a bit more of their similarities.

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