JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
11/27/2021 6:26:29 PM
8

Looking for some writing advice

Good evening everybody! This is Aifos coming to you alive from nowhere in particular! And I find myself in quite a pickle, so let's just jump right into the point! So, I'm writing a thing, and in this thing the protagonist is getting hunted by an assassin. She gets rescued by a couple other characters, and our trio of heroic hero people all get away safe & sound. Now, the heroes have a little bit of downtime, and I, tapping into my infinite reserves of writing knowledge, say "Okay, it's always important to give your characters a clear goal!", and so I immediately have the protagonist (the girl who just got rescued) suggest they go look for this city that seems to be surrounded by this magic anomaly thing. This kickstarts their adventure, and gets the plot rolling! Woo hoo! Then I realized something. Everything that just happened happens within 13 pages double spaced (or only about 4,000 words if you want a more specific bead). When I was writing it, this seemed fine, but upon a quick reread, it feels like it goes way too fast. Like, we have our protag get attacked by an assassin, then almost immediately turn around and ask the people who saved her to take her somewhere, which just felt a little awkward. Not only that, but the next two chapters place the characters in some pretty nifty situations, and while the actual content is fine, I almost feel like you don't know these characters enough for these scenes to really be that great. It reminds me of the first episode of Teen Titans, where they have Cyborg leave the team--great moment on its own, but not a great moment as a first episode, because you don't really know him enough to care. So, I've looked over it a few times, and I'm a bit stumped on how to fix it. What I think I need is some way to pad down this introduction, so that there's some time to get to know these characters a bit better, and so that the protag doesn't immediately seem fine with having these total strangers (who did save her life, granted), escort her halfway across the world. While I think having the assassin attack is a good spot to start the book (as that's when the heroes all meet up) I think, for once, my writing know-how has failed me, and giving them a clear goal is [i]not[/i] the next best move.. But, I also have no idea what else I could possibly do instead. So I turn to you, general populace of the Offtopic subforum! I know there are at least a couple of you with writing know how and/or story analysis skills! So help me out! I need to slow down this intro, and give us time to get to know these characters, as immediately setting them on the path to [b]ADVENTURE[/b] didn't work like it does for most of my stories. One other small thing to note, is I don't want too much [b]NONSTOP HIGH-POWERED ACTION[/b] until they get set on their adventure, because the protag doesn't have magic yet. She'll get some magic pretty early once they actually start heading to their destination, but until then she'd be pretty useless in fight scenes, and padding down my intro by having her stand on the sidelines during a couple fight scenes would not be very interesting. [b][u]Tl;dr? Here's my point![/b][/u] My intro was too fast, I need help making it go a bit slower. But that's all for now, folks! Jambuhbye!

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • Edited by CAD1420Z: 11/28/2021 6:31:39 AM
    You could have the protagonist help the people who saved her accomplish a goal of their own that they put on hold to save her? Said goal might even take them closer to your intended destination, even. The goal itself doesn't even have to be huge, like maybe finding a rare-ish component or reagent or what have you. Edit: On a slight bit more consideration, I'm going to crib the first thing the main quest tells you to do in Morrowind: Go do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE and come back when you're stronger, richer, more intelligent, overall more capable. Have the team go off on an adventure elsewhere, establish their bonafides, then have them go to the mythical super mysterious place. And I don't necessarily mean make another 10 chapters of fetch quests, just a few impactful moments with enough detail to show the characters growing meaningfully and getting to know each other along with the reader.

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    4 Replies
    You are not allowed to view this content.
    ;
    preload icon
    preload icon
    preload icon