>gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fuсking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE FUСK NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw