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Edited by Bruce Wizard: 5/16/2022 4:54:48 PM
2

5/16/22 - Weekly Reminder To Hail HYDRA!

*Dumps 20 pound bag of rice into hot tub* Good afternoon and hail HYDRA. Last weekend's op was a complete failure. Red Skull has a new anime waifu, Yor Folger from Spy X Family. He ordered a new body pillow only to find out that the Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury, had ordered all of the pillows in stock for himself as he is equally smitten with her. Skull Team 6 were ordered to infiltrate Fury's home and retrieve a body pillow. Unfortunately, Nick Fury effortlessly beat all Skull Team commandos within an inch of their lives, tied them up, and forced them to watch 89 hours worth of wholesome Hallmark Channel movies before letting them go. They were forced to return emptyhanded, and it is going to take 16 to 18 weeks for Amazon to have another Yor Folger body pillow in stock. You win this time, SHIELD! In other news, HYDRA will invade #Offtopic again this Fourth of July. Are you ready for 24 hours of nonstop shitposting?! Sin's cat Princess Kisses just had kittens, if there are any personnel interested in a free kitten please speak to her personal assistant Ms. Shelly. Our R&D department's newly developed HAIL to cash converter just burnt out after transmographying 14 goosesteps into a nickel. Further development must continue until we work out the kinks. Deadpool has been vandalizing cars in the parking lot, chimichanga catapults have been deployed to drive him off. That is all for this week. Get ready to hail HYDRA! [T]7 [T]/ [i][b] HAIL HYDRA!!!!!!!!!!!![/b][/i]

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