The Grand Bacon Theory;
As we all know, Mara Sov was trapped in the Ascendant Plane for quite some time. This means that she has innate knowledge of the universe. The Dawning Recipe we make for her is entitled: Ascendant Apple Tarts. This means her food tastes are sour and sweet. These would point to a hickory smoked style bacon recipe, or just that million dollar from First Watch if anyone's had it. (I recomend.) But we never see her eat. This is curious. The Awoken are immortal. The have perfect physique. So she could consume as much bacon as she wants to, but also doesn't have to. If you think about it, though, she has incredible knowledge and skill. These are innate powers and properties associated with bacon, the almighty food. As you can observe in The Book of Sorrow letter 7 number Q, Oryx says to Xol, Will of Thousands, and Nokris before he casts them out, "I like bacon, I think Imma go Take some pigs." Thus he Took pigs, giving them regenerative powers, so that their bacon could be harvested infinitely. This leads me to believe that Mara discovered the hidden location of the Arcane Porkers, and has eaten the Ascendant Bacon to give her strength through Darkness and Bacon power combined. This makes her our most powerful ally.
English
-
KFC. KFC is red. Do you know what else is red? That is right. The color red. Red has three letters. KFC also has three letters. Three times three is nine. Seven ate nine. Therefore we are left with seven who ate nine. There are seven days in a week. Week. Week rhymes with the word beak. Beak. Chickens have beaks. Chicken. Chickens have two wings. Humans have zero wings. Two plus zero is two. The colonel has two eyes. Chickens also have two eyes. Two plus two is four. There are four letters in the first four letters of McDonald's. McDonald's sells chicken. KFC also sells chicken. There are nine letters in the word McDonald's Nine. Nine rhymes with the word Electromagnetic Delay Line. Magnet. Magnets are metal. Cages are also metal. Chickens are kept in cages. Is this where KFC gets their chicken? Let's find out! Chickens have two legs and humans also have two legs. So, two plus two is four. The colonel has four limbs. A chicken has two limbs unless you count their wings, which is four. Four divided by four is one. The Illuminati has one eye. KFC is Illuminati confirmed.
-
My friend, your wisdom and intuitive reasoning is truly infallible.
-
I genuinely love how much effort you put in there. Keep it up :)
-
[quote]The Grand Bacon Theory; As we all know, Mara Sov was trapped in the Ascendant Plane for quite some time. This means that she has innate knowledge of the universe. The Dawning Recipe we make for her is entitled: Ascendant Apple Tarts. This means her food tastes are sour and sweet. These would point to a hickory smoked style bacon recipe, or just that million dollar from First Watch if anyone's had it. (I recomend.) But we never see her eat. This is curious. The Awoken are immortal. The have perfect physique. So she could consume as much bacon as she wants to, but also doesn't have to. If you think about it, though, she has incredible knowledge and skill. These are innate powers and properties associated with bacon, the almighty food. As you can observe in The Book of Sorrow letter 7 number Q, Oryx says to Xol, Will of Thousands, and Nokris before he casts them out, "I like bacon, I think Imma go Take some pigs." Thus he Took pigs, giving them regenerative powers, so that their bacon could be harvested infinitely. This leads me to believe that Mara discovered the hidden location of the Arcane Porkers, and has eaten the Ascendant Bacon to give her strength through Darkness and Bacon power combined. This makes her our most powerful ally.[/quote] At last it seems we may now have the response we’ve all so desperately waited for
-
The semicolon is supposed to be a reg'lar ol' colon, sorry.
-
Mr Morrison would be ashamed