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Edited by DeMix:
4/16/2019 4:13:16 AM
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Sorry I've been gone so long, I'm back! (deep down nobody cares)
Reason for me being gone:
The one place I open up to people is on the internet on Bungie... weird. Anyway, as most of you know I've had problems with my dad and anxiety. Turns out I actually have clinical depression with severe social anxiety. Every day of my life I wake up feeling like, I don't know, a zombie with no reason to live, with a goddamn boulder on my head.
That's the main reason.
The second reason is that I went to a party recently, a wedding party and everything was good, but later on, one of my depression waves (that's what I call them) hits me and instantly feel like I want to die. Then I fell asleep on my dad's girlfriend's bed and because her daughter didn't like me sleeping in there because "her purse" was in there, implying I'm a goddamn thief, they broke up for a second goddamn time then gets mad at me.
It's understandable that I should have asked before sleeping on her bed, but her daughter is such... she's something.
Then here I am helping everybody, donating to charity, trying to be a good secular humanist and promoting rationality and love, anti-discrimination and other shit, and people still treat me like I'm not a human.
My dad's girlfriend drinks like eight beers every day and says all I care about is getting high, funny right. All because I took my prescription medication Klonopin, which relaxes you and relieves anxiety.
Lastly, right now in my life, I'm probably going to block all of my family and fly somewhere else. I'm tired of being selfless and getting paid back with shit by my asshole family. I'm just going to help my friend with his company, move, and read books.
I'm back... and my life is garbage.
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1 ReplyWe got you bud And as I always say.... [spoiler]dont’t 👊 the 🍖[/spoiler]
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I think getting away would be good for you just know your not alone I suffer from depression and everything blaming day I have to take like 14 shots for t1 Diabetes which doesn’t help so I tend to play games to lock myself away from it all but it doesn’t help but when I started getting out and about more and more it makes me feel better [spoiler]you are in a deep hole but someone or something will get you out trust me [/spoiler]
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Nice to meat you! Yes meat!
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1 ReplyThat sucks, but that last bit sounds like a good plan. Keep kicking depressions ass. It's all we can really do.
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Hey Hoss, glad you are back and sorry to hear about the shit that went down! You are too good of a person to have to deal with that shit and while I hate to say it, maybe once you are gone, they will realize how good you truly are, I hope! Your plan sounds good, but make sure you have a lifeline once you get there, just in case you hit another bad spot. We or at least I, give a shit and I worry about you! Offtopic is not the same without you, even if it is just to give me shit about getting my 6-pack abs, lol. You ever need to talk Hoss, you hit me up, I am always around, even if it is just PM.
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Edited by StoneFlare21: 4/16/2019 2:17:36 PMThat sounds horrible, and on the topic that nobody missed you I sure did (I loved your "What would you rather do" posts). And just because they're your blood relatives doesn't mean that they're your "'family," the ones that will appreciate you for who you are (which is where friends can come in and the people that you love being around can be considered your unrelated family), so I think moving away for some time to help your friend, and taking a break from your family, is a great idea. Don't cut them off completely, since they are still your related family, so I hope that one day they will understand you and you'll come to forgive them for their mistakes (after all, no one's perfect).While I have felt depressed and had anxiety, it sounds like mines is no where on your level, but I think doing what you love, going to your friend and reading sounds like the best thing to do. And I hope that coming here (to the forums) helps you feel more comfortable. [spoiler]Also you're taking medication, not drugs. So don't listen to your dad's girlfriend when she says that and puts you down for something that actually helps you (even when she's not one to talk).[/spoiler]
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Man, off topic is here for you! And Stone Flare said it perfectly. Just cuz you share blood doesn't mean that's your family. The people who love you and like you for [i]you[/i] are. I'm sorry your going through some hard times. And don't ever, [i]ever[/i], take your own life. We're here if you need to vent.
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Hey De long time no see [spoiler]its otter[/spoiler] I member you dude. Chillax everything’s fine. Take a breath and talk to me my guy. Lay it on me how you doin?
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1 Reply[quote](deep down nobody cares)[/quote] That's right.
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I moved here a couple months ago and I don’t remember you.[spoiler] Hi! I’m Sduck. Good to meat you. [/spoiler]
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There’s never a perfect answer for anything. But whatever gives you relief is what you need to do. Families suck sometimes. If at the very least you need to do some venting on the ‘ol forums, you won’t find hate from me. Take care of yourself.
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You’ll get there bud. We’re here if ya need us. Sending love your way dude.
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I'd say, if you can, go on a vacation for like a week. Save up some cash, go to the beach (or other various vacation spot), maybe bring some friends. If you tell your dad, do it last minute, or tell him why you need a vacation. Your survival should be your priority, and there ain't no shame in running from those who put you down.
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Welcome back, also you do you. With what has happened to you I think you made a good choice helping your friend. [b]Offtopic is here for you[/b]
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We're with you. Do whatever you feel you need to. I'm glad you're back
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I remember you, thought you had left. What are your plans now?
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Wassup dude! Welcome back. You might not recognize me but I remember you.
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Hey man, I remember you from the olden days, good to see you again! I hope it gets better for you
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I might not know you, but I hope it gets better.
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... Oof, well your plan sounds great going forward so best of luck to you... [spoiler]not included in the DLC[/spoiler]
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Heyyyy you! *finger guns, winks, and allows you to sit at my lunch table but nobody talks to you*
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[quote]my life is garbage.[/quote]I'm not attempting to invalidate your troubles when I say this, as your problems are still your problems regardless of them potentially being outweighed by someone else's, but... If I told you what I've been going through for the past four months, I'm sure you'd feel differently. Chin up, friend and keep taking your happy candy.
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Good luck getting through this, offtopic will always be here for ya
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hey man i’m always willing to talk to anyone who’s depressed, just hit me up in the pm if you want to talk [spoiler](deep down has no idea who you are)[/spoiler]
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Sorry but that, my guy. Just keep it up. And don't cut your family off completely, I wouldn't at least, there is a potential goof can come of them yet... I'm a strong believer in forgiveness and redemption. But it sounds like you do some good in your life, so focus on your strengths and if you need a break, by all means take one.
