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Edited by BenjyX55: 11/3/2017 6:45:35 PM
16

Why Halloween is the best holiday.

Halloween, despite often being smeared as "Satanic" or "bad for your teeth", is a day of community and artistic expression. In contrast, just look at what the others are all about: [u]Thanksgiving:[/u] Gluttony and genocide. [u]Fourth of July:[/u] Blowing your fingers off. [u]Christmas:[/u] Commercialism, an outdated calendar, and Christian appropriation of pagan traditions. [u]St Patrick's Day:[/u] Alcoholism, perpetuating racial stereotypes, and dehumanizing the vertically challenged. [u]President's Day:[/u] The idea that Washington and Lincoln weren't important enough to have separate birthdays. [u]Valentine's Day:[/u] Making single people feal bad about themselves and putting increased strain on couples. [u]New Year's Day:[/u] An arbitrary point in Earth's rotation around the sun. [u]Columbus Day:[/u] More genocide and stealing credit from Lief Erikson. [u]Lief Erikson Day:[/u] Bubble genocide and giant paper shortages. [u]Labor Day:[/u] A lack thereof. [u]Veteran's Day:[/u] Labor Day, but in a different month. [u]Memorial Day:[/u] See Veteran's Day. [u]Hanukkah:[/u] Some candles or something. [u]Festivus:[/u] It is a travesty that Jason Alexander never won an Emmy. [u]Passover:[/u] Divine genocide. [u]Kwanza:[/u] I don't actually know and neither do you. [u]MLKJR Day:[/u] Honoring the memory of a truly great American (however, unfortunately, there is no candy). [u]Easter:[/u] Like Halloween, but with no pumpkins, no costumes, and only one zombie. Clearly Halloween is the best holiday.

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