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Edited by Charlemagne: 8/10/2016 1:09:32 AM
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The Seventh Column and Cyber Bullying

Last night, I posted a message in a popular group about cyber bullying. Before and after that, I received a bunch of messages from users who were currently being bullied on the site, who've been bullied in the past, or who had experiences with being bullied in some way. After all these messages and talks, it's pretty clear. We have a bullying problem on this site and that's not okay. [u][b]I'm sorry if you're being bullied in this community. You don't deserve that. If you're being harassed in any way, please report the messages (and mute that person) so that the Ninjas can deal with it accordingly.[/b][/u] Bullying comes in all shapes and forms. Cyber bullying is no different, yet so many think lesser of it. People say things like, "Just ignore it" or "fight back" or even "it's just words", but it's more than that. It's people who are saying those things to you and other people. They are making it so you can't enjoy this site with certain people and at certain times, and that isn't acceptable. This is supposed to be a community, not a battleground. Think about someone who you think might have been bullied on here. Maybe it's you. Maybe its' a friend. Maybe it's a stranger. Even still, maybe you were the one doing the bullying. In any case, let's think about the person being targeted. I think it's safe to say that there's no reason they should be targeted. It's not an acceptable practise in real life so there's no reason we should stand for people not feeling safe here. I think what really gets me are the people who want their victims to stand up and fight back. That's something we, as a community, need to not support under any circumstances. Retaliation isn't the answer. That people shouldn't be bullied in the first place. They deserve better. Maybe someone is targeted because they're really excitable, because of their age, they have a strange voice or personality, they're a girl, they're a bit different from you, they seem false in some way, because the bully thinks they're vying for attention, or because they're too "weak" to stand up for themselves and are an easy target. I'd like to say those are random and off the top of my head, but they aren't. Those are just some of the excuses I've seen on this site for bullying. Not one of those is excusable. In fact, there is no excuse for bullying. [b][u]Being a Bystander[/u][/b] What being a bystander means is that you stand by and watch when someone is in trouble or is getting bullied. Being a bystander is extremely harmful to the wellbeing of a society, community, or even just a person. If you ever see someone being bullied in a private group or in the main forum, please report the bully's posts. Let the victim know that they're not alone. Get the Ninjas involved. You can make a difference in this community by not standing by when bullying happens. Please, do the right thing. I know that some of you reading this might think it's stupid and pointless and that people just need thicker skin. If you think that, that's your right, but it's no excuse to let people be harassed. Be the better person and lend a helping hand. Calling people bullies might sound childish, but it is what it is. It's a childish name for a childish act. Stay classy, community. Edit: I am not talking about trash talk, bickering, or anything petty like that. I am talking about targeted attacks and worse. [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/210649983?sort=0&page=0&path=1]Please refer to the linked post for more details.[/url] Edit: For those asking for ways to deal with cyber bullying, here are a few: Talk it out with them personally if you're able to, get a Ninja involved and ask for their help, mute them and report their posts, or even settle your differences in game. However, since what I'm talking about is more serious than a simple disagreement or distaste between two people, please get a Ninja involved. No one deserves targeted, continuous harassment. [u]Edit: There seems to be a miscommunication on my part. I'm not trying to police the internet or something. I'm just trying to let all of you know that this is an issue and that what you say matters. I'm sure it's not too much to ask that you all respect one another. Go ahead and trash talk and say how Hunters are the best class (which is true) or that New Monarchy is better than the other factions (also true), but don't go so far beyond that that you're antagonising someone and constantly berating them, harassing them, and actively trying to bother them. If you see someone else going too far, report it. That's all I'm asking.[/u]

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  • Fusion rifles have been said to stop bullies in their tracks. Practice being one step ahead of your adversaries.

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  • Great post Char. I've written and re-written my response a few times now. But after reading through the responses I've realized that there's nothing I could add that would change the minds of these people that you haven't written already. Either they get it or sadly they don't. Continue to be a stand up guy Charlemagne. Cheers!

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  • Edited by Maui: 8/8/2016 9:25:59 PM
    as an adult with kids son realize there are idiots in the world learn to ignore them cause later on in life you cant just report them for cyber bullying :) as Clint said we are becoming PUSSIES !!!!! better yet my kids are not allowed to chat, facebook etc.. till I know they are old enough !!!! grow a pair and fight back or just mute them and then dance and wave to them as that will make them even more mad :) dont bother saying anything back get the blowing kiss emote and blow em a kiss :) if you come across them in real life ignore them if they keep it up there was a reason you were in BJJ since you were 5 :) and I prepared you for REAL LIFE telling my son just remember punks will be punks and sometimes in real life if they do this and make first physical contact then take them down and pound the crap out of them !!! humiliate them as badly as you can if you see someone bullying someone else stick up for the kid being picked on and if the bad punk touches you then pound the crap out of the bully !!!! teach him a lesson then tell the kid being bullied you need to grow a pair learn how to fight back again this is ONLY if the bully wont stop when asking nicely and touches you :) look at the violence around the world beheadings people being burnt to death and we are worried about some kids calling other kids names online playing a game !!!!! BOOOHOOOO everyone needs a trophy !!! I want this game easier !!!! I want that prize to !!!!! whaaaaa wwhhhhaaaaaaaaa wwwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa OK you cried enough here you go !!!

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    26 Replies
    • Want to know how to stop cyber bullying? Log out for an hour or so and come back. Nobody cares enough to keep up after that long unless you're already locked in.

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    • The Seventh Column is dead dude. B.next, unchecked #Destiny mis-posts killed it. All that you have left here is #Community, which really means next to nothing seeing how so many in this thread view this as a non issue. NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME! Granted if people can not take some forum degenerates then they probably should not venture into them. But there are those who take things entirely too far. You've all seen it at some point. You just thing the aggressor is just a douche or some of you think it's funny, but distastefulness and aggression for the sake of your own amusement is childishness at it's zenith. Many do not know how to handle that, walk away from it, and for what it's worth think that the posters are being 'real'. Many others take the 'it's the internet' excuse for being able to be a jerk behind the veil of anonymity. That's the true measure of a coward. For those of you who feel that you are being harassed, USE THE TOOLS HERE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN. Not enough people do that and just unnecessarily escalate dumb responses into profane wastes of forum space. Trying to reason with someone who is aggressively attacking you is absolutely pointless.

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    • The fúck? Its just 0s and 1s on a damn screen? Jesus people need to harden up a little nowadays.[spoiler]As a challenge say the meanest shit to me below [/spoiler]

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      • the mods are the biggest bullies here

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      • I assume it's mostly the adolescent crowd. Activision attracted COD spawn and now they're all here to "**** our moms"

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      • ...If you take the comments on here seriously and get offended because someone says something on here you don't like, you're going to have a hard time in the real world. "someones picking on me on the destiny forums what shall I ever do..." Gee, if only there was an option to mute someone or turn off the monitor and go outside for a while.

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        • all i hear is wah wah wah i'm being bullied and i'm a massive wet blanket so i need to complain. As someone who was a victim of bullying in Primary school, i soon learned that if i was to survive in high school, i needed to man up and take no shit from anyone. surprise surprise, the bullying stopped when they found out it didn't get to me and i could dish it out as good as i got it. asking the rest of the world to be pussies doesn't solve the problem.

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          • It the internet. Get over it.

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            • Muting solves everything.

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            • I face Bullies by simply Muting them. Problem solved. Most people get a lot of flack from starting topics and honestly I don't simply because I don't want to blow up my notifications.

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            • I'm glad you got up and typed this. This community is REALLY growing toxic. Cyber bullying is never okay and shouldn't be delivered here. This is a VIDEO GAME where people STAY AWAY FROM SHIT like bullies and try to relax. This community shouldn't be turning into those cancerous middle schools my younger pals tell me about. As well this is the internet but things do get very out of control and could end in a disaster, which I think no one wants. I've been bullied on/ offline and before and its not a good feeling. Having people inspired and spreading more bully-like actions should be stopped. I do read through forums and see people sending hate comments to each others and feelings being hurt. The Ninjas/Mods really don't do that much. People need to help each other and end bullying/ cyber bullying. If that doesn't do shit. Idk mute 'em or something.

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              • I'm 40 years old and yes, kids these days are too damn soft. And yet, they mouth off a lot more, especially to adults. I was a runt in middle school and used to get bullied from time to time. Until I stood up for myself. I still got beat but I made sure to inflict as much pain as possible. Bullies can't handle pain. They eventually learned it wasn't worth getting eye gouged or elbowed in the mouth. Standing up for yourself used to be a boy's rite of passage. Now they wear girl pants. Sigh.

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              • Sounds like a bunch of wussy snowflakes who can't understand how this world works. It's a flippin video game and trash talking comes with it. Deal with it and git gud!

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                • How is cyberbullying even real? Like -blam!- just go outside.

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                  • Wow, I don't condone hate mail and cyber bullying, but if your affected by other people's words... the real world will be too much for you. People need to develop tough skin, learn to feign off criticism and negative remarks from ignorant people. Even though it sucks, it's a part of life. Things aren't always the way these snowflakes hope they should be, you have to be above it or just enough to laugh things off and fire back instead of cry about it or you have lost the fight already

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                    • Edited by Ken_Malibu: 8/8/2016 11:42:55 AM
                      I do not condone bullying, I suffered from real life bullying when I was younger. With the internet you can actually walk away and ignore it to some degree, turn off the computer, don't visit the site. In real life that's much harder. (I know Cyber bullying is still 'real life' but I was struggling to find words to differentiate the 2, no disrespect meant.) However if you post on a public forum do not be surprised if others disagree with you. If that offends you then you shouldn't air your private thoughts publicly, someone will always disagree, even if just to play devil's advocate. That's not bullying. Disagreeing with someone else's opinion and showing them why you think their opinion is stupid is called debating. If during the debate someone resorts to name calling or belittling then it shows they do not have the mental capacity to properly argue their point against yours. You win. Thick-ish skin is required if you're going to air your views to the public. A lot of people will try to cut you down and 'prove' you as stupid simply to make themselves feel better. If you let it bother you to the point you feel bullied then public forums may not be your thing. Constantly private messaging a forum user, harassing them or following them from post to post is another issue that is just plain weird and certainly bullying, these types of people should be muted, reported and banned for life, no questions.

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                    • To all those who are rejecting Charlemagne's message: People who are bullied are rarely bullied online by strangers. What stranger would you not just mute and report? People are bullied by people who they don't want to block. People who claim to be their friends. People who are friends with their friends. People who if blocked would simply direct abuse at them through another means like in a party chat. There isn't much visible bullying in #Destiny. They are bullied in their clan sub forum, or via direct messages, or in their party. Yes thick skin is an important virtue. Yes distinguishing between bullying and general banter is important. However, there is no reason to stand by saying nothing if you see someone taking things too far. If you are uncomfortable with the way 1 friend treats another then likely that friend is also uncomfortable. The [u]WEAK[/u] approach to take is to ignore it and to pretend that your bullied friend simply needs to "toughen up". The [u]SUPER WEAK[/u] approach is to join in and push more despite recognising that your friend doesn't appreciate the treatment of the group. The [u]STRONG[/u] thing for you to do is to say "Mate, you're taking banter too far. Back off and start treating my friend with respect". Don't wait to have a private conversation, be confident and stop them in their tracks. Same goes if you feel like a friend is taking things too far with you. Be confident and assert your desire to be treated in a civil manner. The worst thing that can happen is that you lose a few dickhead friends. The fallout from sticking around with dickheads regardless is usually far worse. If you are in a party or a subforum or a group DM and you see someone being treated like dirt and you think that it is ok or funny, then you are an asshole. Just because someone wants to be your friend doesn't mean you can treat them like shit. Just because someone would cause a rift in a tight group by blocking and muting and reporting an asshole like you doesn't mean that they should be pressured into accepting your behaviour or that others in the group should feel unable to call you on your bullshit. Screw your feelings. If you treat other people with zero respect why should your feelings be respected? You say they should "toughen up" or "just go outside" and that it is their fault if they catch feelings from your abuse. Well how about you speak for yourselves. Look at you all whining and crying like pissbabies just because someone requested that you treat people with civility. What sort of [b]Jessie[/b] gets kicks from picking on people who they see as weaker than them anyway?

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                    • Edited by BRANDO: 8/8/2016 2:14:35 AM
                      With all do respect. What do you honestly expect? You're acting like we're all adults here, as if we all know how to behave maturely. Keep in my mind that Destiny is rated T for teen. What type of people do you expect on here? Mature adults that don't harass other users and so call "roast them"? Destiny probably literally attracts 10 year olds to here. When your releasing a game for "Teens" what majority of the age groups do you expect to flock towards the forums? Immature, people that [u]will[/u] insult other users. That's basically the norm for Teens. All these people see it as a joke... I disagree with cyber bullying in general but there's really nothing we can do about it. The Ninjas are already doing all that they can probably. Again, you can just mute that person and avoid the group chats that they are in. Don't tell me that they can't avoid group chats because if someone is acting like an ass to a certain person in a group, probably 80% of the admins on here would kick them out of the groups. Anyway... sadly, there's really nothing we can do. Just remember what age group you're talking to though.

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                      • I cyber bully all the time seriously😜

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                      • Do you wear a cape on the weekend?

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                      • 😘😘😘😘😘🖕

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                      • THE WORLD IS A SCARY AND TERRIFYING PLACE. the internet isnt any diffrent. ninjas make sure "cyber bullying" is kept to a minimum. also if you feel bullyed: [spoiler]if someone calls you a name on the internet, dont get upset. ignore it, block said person, and continue enjoying your day. those kinds of people only have the power *YOU* give them.[/spoiler]

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                      • I find it hard to find any sort of pity for "victims" of these so called cyber bullies. Unlike real life bullying, which is in most cases unavoidable because it comes from people in places you have to be (home, school, work etc). You can't just quit your job or stop going to school because a one or two bullies. Cyberbullying is however entirely avoidable. Someone bullying you on social media? Block them. Someone bullying you a message board/forum? Mute them.. Secondly cyberbullying comes in the form of words. In all my quarter century of living in this shitbag of a planet, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that words only have as much power as YOU want them. Whether or not what someone says offends or hurts depends on YOU and your state of mind. So yes you can choose to ignore those "bullies" and if you're not mentally strong enough to do so, mute/block them or even get off the internet for a while. It's that simple

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