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#Gaming

7/14/2016 1:52:06 PM
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Share your Dungeons & Dragons stories!

Anyone here played some DnD in their lifetime? If so, I want to hear your stories! Did you ever roll a 1 in combat and nearly killed your whole team? Were you a homeless wizard that magically created a mansion out of thin air? Or did your evil sorcerer friend mercilessly sacrifice your hafling companion to the God of Death? Post yours in the comments below!

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    • Alright, here's act two of the same campaign where I was a bird rogue who was captured by slavers. Here's the party this time: [spoiler]-Me still, a tengu rogue who now owns a Colt Army revolver thanks to the disembowelment of one of the slavers. -That whale-dragon-man Mage from before. -The vigilante combat bard -A phantom who inhabits two swords when not playing (or avoiding trouble). He can also control the swords with a flute he carries. -a half half-elf, half half-Orc fighter, daughter of a character from a previous campaign on that setting. In a relationship with the Mage. -a cleric with a revolver shotgun working as a security officer for some reason or another. (He appears for the finale)[/spoiler] So shortly after freeing ourselves from the slavers, our heroes managed to find the mayor of the small town! Turns out he wasn't kidnapped (kinda), he just wanted to meet with his estranged father (who also wanted to meet with him), and he couldn't leave the office. The slavers were just meant to escort him there and ended up being a bit extreme in their methods. Eventually we convinced the family to get back together and starting going back to the town with them, only to find the entire town missing. The location was exact, but there was nothing there but the Hedge Wizard who lived in what I think was the only tree in the town (oh, and by hedge wizard I mean an an ancient wizard who's power apparently can rival some gods). The Hedge Wizard told us that the town was not only physically missing but apparently also missing on a planar level. Our Mage blamed himself (and the character played by the DM's wife, the town's toll-taker) for this because he was tricked into taking something from the Hedge Wizard's home, so he decided he'd help fix it. The rest of our party ended up having their own reasons to help with the finding the town, so a new quest began. The goal here was to find a large sum of mana cores so that the Hedge Wizard could use them to hopefully find the town and then move it back into place. The only large enough source was discovered by the party of a previous campaign in the universe, who were doing so for the survey-takers of Willforge (the flying city). So we went there, found out mana-cores like the color purple (that was the survey apparently), and had our best lead stolen out from under us by what may be the only existing example of a gender-bent Carmen Sandiego. Our bard also got insulted by either the Mage or the fighter and so stormed off to drink himself into a stupor. So after learning how many party members suffered from having dead family members/ loved ones thanks to things the bard did while drunk, we all had a night's ready and spent the next day chasing our only lead on the thief. At this point I'm going to end this post and start working on a part two.

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      • A lot fun stories to be had but one of my favorites is when we were riding along in a caravan and a T-Rex comes out of the woods and tries to attack us. My friend (let's call him Jim) proceeds to nat 1 on a knowledge check. Jim yells out, guys it's just a dog, I don't know what you're worried about! Jim then gets out of the wagon goes right up to the T-Rex and nat 20's handle animal. He begins to pet the T-Rex and says, " See? Told you he was just a harmless dog!" Jim gets back into the wagon and we ride off with a really confused T-Rex behind us.

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      • I'll have to find my notebooks after I get off work today, then I can tell some stories. So bump for later pls

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        • Nothing really outstanding aside form when our level 8 wizard did 100+ damage to a dragon in a single turn Then the time I almost killed the fighter with a spell (only reason she didn't die was by the grace of the DM)

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        • Edited by basilysk_: 7/22/2016 8:48:22 AM
          Alright, here's the story of Lupus Calamari, the character who destroyed 3 campaigns and over 20 pc's. Before I start this story I should mention that I don't play actual dnd. I play a variant of it called GURPS, which is similar but with more character customization and my group didn't use maps. My friend decided to gm a grimdark medieval campaign in a strange castle, so most of the group rolled with Knights and spearmen, while i ran a buffing cleric. We had: half-elf archer with kleptomania, Orc spearman with negative iq (I still don't know how he got the gm to agree with that one...), and a knight, nothing really special about him. We enter this castle after 3 hours of the gm trying to get us to explore some random stuff before we get to the actual story, and immediately encounter an Eldritch abomination. The Orc and the archer fail their sanity checks and go temp insane, while I frantically buff the knight and try to heal him. The abomination (that we can't even look at) hits the knight for 3d6 and instant-kills him. I decide to play dead, but I get killed. About 2 hours and 8 total deaths into that fight, the archer (now running a glass cannon sorcerer) rage quits and the rest of us follow suit. I was awake for most of the night delving into the deepest depths of munchkining and minmaxing to create this... Thing. Essentially I created a tank knight with a magic weapon (unbreakable, holy, returns to hand at will, bonus fire damage) and a few... Strategic disadvantages. He was a kleptomaniac, claustrophobic, hemophiliac zealot. But here's where I started laughing maniacally: [i]whenever one of his disadvantages came into play, he transformed into a [b][u]freaking werewolf![/u][/b][/i] [spoiler]he also had serendipity, which allows you to escape death or just have insane luck, and widgets, which lets you pull any item out of your pockets, but we'll come to that later...[/spoiler] Needless to say the abomination died in seconds, along with our Mage (first pc kill). I will continue this story in the comments later. Edit: parts 2 and 3 are in the comments now, and I am posting part 4 later.

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          • I've never played DnD but I hear a lot bout it

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            • One time my party had stopped in a city and I went into the magic shop, and I didn't have enough money to buy anything so I seduced the shopkeeper for a discount (was playing a minotaur that game your welcome for that image) and so I then pickpocketed the money back and tried to intimidate her for another discounted item but she called the guards and so when I went outside I rolled a natural 20 and killed all 7 guards+burned down the shop with my chain lightning staff (we were younger then and just kinda winging this new dnd thing) but before the entire shop went up in flames I ran back inside and grabbed the item and pushed the shop keeper into the fire (no witnesses) and ran

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            • Edited by porchyfun: 7/22/2016 8:59:57 PM
              We got anally -blam!- by trees because the fm was fed up with our shit. My friend seduced EVERYTHING even a door blocking our path (it worked) I attempted to -blam!- up EVERYTHING

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              • Our first campaign we passed DM around when one of of us got tired of it. Ended up with a lot of crazy nonsense like these man horses we later made an official race called Equitaurs. But we come across some Equitaur Acolytes of Hrothgar, who had the icon of there God King stolen, the Orb of Hrothgar. It had actually been stolen by a band of heretical Equitaurs who intended to use the Orb of Hrothgar for there own purposes. We needed to get someone inside there camp, so I volunteered as my Dragonkin Warrior. We killed a deer in the surrounding forest, then broke off its horns and stuck it's head on my head. I then proceeded to bluff the guard into thinking I was an Equitaur who had hay to feed the troops.

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              • Force fed the knights horse a potion of spider climb once. Couldn't leave him behind when we had to climb down a cliff.

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              • Edited by eehotaka: 7/18/2016 3:40:09 AM
                Ok.... We were at a game con in Los Angeles, guessing it was mid 80s. They frowned on recreational chemistry on the floor back then, so we headed up to the room for some Call of Cthulhu. Kerie was GM'ing, about 6 of us in the group. One of our buddies, Robert, was playing as a former vaudeville performer who did an animal act, somebody (can't remember the character's name) and Skippy the Wonder Dog. Skippy was an older dog now, but Robert was so proud of Skippy. Since he wasn't part of the actual game play, he was just a story aid, and Skippy could do anything. For the next 4 hours, Skippy was the running gag with his wondrous and meaningless exploits. Ok, now we're getting to a tense moment, some monster or another is rising out of pool at the base of some waterfall, and we're trying to cast a barrier spell on a rope downstream. And no one can get the rope across the freaking river. One of these things, the rope we had was too heavy or something, much arguing about how hard it is to throw a rope, blah blah, but it's not happening. But.... we can throw a stick across. What if.... yeah, what if we tie the rope to Skippy, throw the stick across, and tell him to fetch? That might work. So, in a long and tedious process that only people who have played table top RPGs will understand, the negotiations and arguing and dice rolling and arguing begin, and 30 minutes later we have a fleshed out Skippy the Wonder Dog. I think he was an Airedale. Regardless, Robert has this goofy, proud grin, his loyal and smart and talented dog is going to save the day. After several attempts, we throw the stick. 1/2

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                • Edited by Rhynerd: 7/18/2016 4:30:19 AM
                  Alright, I'm just gonna give a story from the second campaign I ever played. First, here's the party as relevant to the situation: [spoiler]Me, a Tengu Rogue merely looking for a job. An orca-dragon-human mix with knowledge of a few magics. A human combat bard, known for his vigilantism.[/spoiler] Our "heroes" were in a highly-advanced flying city, trying to find information on the mayor of one of the tiny (but strange) towns that surround it's landing zone. All we know was that he was kidnapped by bandits who seem to be planning to sell him to slavers, and that the city in question had a slave trade and a person in charge of the market in that area. So we decided to go ask the Market Boss. The headquarters looked more like Shadowrun instead of D&D 3.5e with a hint of pathfinder. The bard forged some papers to make us look like we were from one of the other groups in the city, I think some faction of survey-takers. Because of that we managed to get in and meet the boss. Upon meeting her, the bard revealed that the papers were forged. Our party then began trying to their best to explain to her why we were there and why she shouldn't call the guards on us (alongside the bard's attempts to hit on her). She heard us out for a bit, but as it turns out she figured we'd be worth more if we were sold into slavery. Her derringer immediately splayed out our bard, knocking him out with some rubber bullets. Guards starting flowing in and the Mage started ripping into them with claws and magic. I rushed her to try and disarm her. I did manage to disarm her, but it turns out she's some crazy class called a moderator. She got to respond to my taking of her (empty) gun with a hammer out of nowhere that effectively froze me like I was having a connection issue in a multiplayer game (minus the auto-disconnect message). The Mage did his best to distract or dismember the guards (covering some of them in swarms of spiders) until a paladin came in and hit him with an energy sword set to stun. I got black-bagged before I could "reconnect". Our next session opened with us in the cages of the slavers.

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                  • Oh hell where do I begin? Ok so my group went to investigate some cave or something. One of our friends, he was a fighter I think, missed the session but said I could take over for him. Anyways, we get into this huge cave and goblins immediately swarm us and there are like 3 big bad bugbears. Apparently they were protecting some really important thing (I don't remember a god or something) so they're like super beefed up. Well we manage to take down a few goblins and two of the bug bears but we're still getting the shit beat out of us and we had no idea how much longer we would last. It was at that moment, when all hope seemed lost bane139 caretaker of his friend's fighter took up his d20 and cried "I seduce the bug bear!" Nat 20 So with the main aggro distracted we were able to mop up the remaining goblins and miraculously save our fighter from sexytime with a bugbear. Needless to say, I was never allowed to play any of his characters again... to his knowledge...

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                    • Edited by Macgyver: 7/20/2016 4:32:27 PM
                      Taunted* an adolescent black dragon... [spoiler]Got melted by acid.[/spoiler]

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                    • I once won as a dungeon master...[spoiler]Once...[/spoiler]

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                    • I've been wanting to try D&D for a while now but I have no earthly clue where to start. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

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                      • >party of 3. Me the Dwarf Cleric, an otherkin rogue, and some sort of barb >Bossfight >Barb gets knocked tf out >Well then... >ultimately slay boss >get loot >otherkin teabags barb >barb comes around to nuts in face >rolls a nat 20 to bite off said nuts in face. >otherkin bleeding out >should I heal that? >nah. weak overall character >I'm not gonna rez either. >otherkin dies, gets looted, and re-rolls

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                      • One time my friend (Malacath, Half-Orc Paladin) and I (Zyrael, Half-Elf Rogue) had captured an adventurer from another party that was stalking us. When we apprehended him, we could barely see a flicker of fire far off in the woods, (I rolled a natural 20) and confronted the adventurer (Baed) about it. He denied any knowledge of a campfire in the area. So we left two NPCs, Dan, (he and Baed had worked together but Baed wanted a bigger cut so he left), and Mardrick, (a Human Ranger) to watch Baed and scouted out the fire we had seen. Lo and behold, two tents and a raging fire. We spotted a lone sentry dozing by the fire. Malacath and I agreed to club him with a stick, and interrogate him back at camp. On our way back we hear some rustling in the bushes, but could identify neither the source or the direction it was heading. When we arrive back at camp, dragging the unconscious sentry behind us, we find Mardrick wounded, and Baed and Dan are nowhere to be found. Turns out Baed had convined Dan to let him go, then they both attacked Mardrick and ran off, all while we were gone. The rustling was them running back to Baed's camp, where we confronted them. In the end, we killed several soldiers and Baed. A soldier surrendered and Dan ran off, but we captured him in a manner similar to our adventure with Baed the night before. We stripped them of their weapons and armor, then sent the sentry, the soldier, and Dan towards a village with one day's ration each. It was pretty interesting fighting 4 soldiers and Baed and Dan, since it was just us two and Mardrick. Also pretty hilarious that they were running right past us as we were hauling another prisoner back to camp.

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                      • Had a DM once that created Vorpal Arrows for my ranger once. His idea was that I could use them on this Hydra that was giving our group trouble. Well I figured out a way to kill the hydra without using them, so I saved the arrows. So later in the session, there we are in the under dark going to kill this mind flayer. That was the boss for the night, it was supposed to be a long battle. We get to his chamber and the mind flayer downs one of our crew. I say "I shoot it with vorpal arrows" and wouldn't you know it, 2 nat 20s! One shot that flayer. So we had to call the session early since our DM didn't have anything else planned after the boss fight. He wasn't very pleased with himself. So we just got high and chilled. I miss D&D.

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                      • I really wish I could nerd out with you all, but I haven't played d and d. My friend has been trying to get a group together for a few months but hasn't had a lot of luck.

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                      • Always wanted to try, never had the chance.

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                      • Long ago I once played a game with my uncle and his girlfriend, he was the dungeon master and his girlfriend and I were disciples of a ranger master, our village was attacked by a sorcerer like fellow and cast some type of sickness, our master was convulsing but was not dying, my reaction was "Kill him, end his suffering, KILL HIM NOW!"

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                      • Edited by basilysk_: 7/15/2016 7:49:06 AM
                        My cleric friend buffed an enemy that could attack other enemies... He forgot that it had an AOE spin2win attack and it wiped the entire team... There is also the story of lupus calamari, the man who singlehandedly killed 18 PCs and ruined the story lines of 3 separate games. I'll tell that one when I get the time, because it needs to be done justice.

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                      • So, we had a party, with about 3 dark elves if various classes, I was a Dwarf, and we had a few more characters. I vividly remembering our sorcerer rolling to tell us to duck, which failed and I was nearly killed, then, in the same turn, I shot my one handed crossbow, missed my target and somehow shot my friend through the eye who was in a room in an orphanage. I was outside. Best DnD game ever. We are organising another adventure at the moment, and I'm excited to see if there are any more shenanigans!!! (There always are!!)

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