Today, many bright-eyed guardians will seek potential partners, to [b][i]slay with in the name of love.[/i][/b] Things will get heavy out there. You may find you're nervous, [b][i]unable to provide peak performance[/i][/b], or have only ever emoted alone.
[b]T O D A Y,[/b] I will make you all [b][i]Crimson Days[/i][/b] experts, and can guarantee you a second match with your partner. Who knows, you may even complete a bounty together....
[b]1) [i]Project confidence:[/i][/b] Confidence is second only to your perk tree. Is it maxed out? Does it [b][i]mash the potatoes[/i][/b] well with theirs? They have two grenades, you have bigger ones, but [b]who is getting the kill?[/b] Just because their Koolaid doesn't use real sugar, doesn't mean it has artificial fruit flavors.
[b]2) [i]Present yourself well:[/i][/b] Pick a shader that [b][i]compliments your exotic.[/i][/b] Nobody wants to go out with somebody wearing a life jacket. I know, from personal experience...
[b]3) [i]Get to know each other on a deep level:[/i][/b] You'll want to divulge your life story into their personal inbox, or on LFG, to increase the fine potato mashing. [b][i]Maybe[/i][/b] they're sliding around the corner for a shotgun kill, [b][i]maybe[/i][/b] they're baiting the other team into a distraction so you can [b]polish them off[/b] from behind. Unless you know their life story, it's impossible to predict.
[b]4) [i]Let them get comfortable:[/i][/b] Nothing is off limits. [b]Limited boundaries[/b] will directly [b]limit[/b] the relationship, and thus the date is soiled. Put your hand cannon there, [i][b]I don't care.[/b][/i] Sure, feel the tip of my [b]St. 14,[/b] it feels just like a kitten. Now let's go [b][i]pone some scrubs.[/i][/b]
[b]5) Don't emote on the first match:[/b] Premature emulation is a thing, I've seen it happen far too often. I'll spawn into a match, and somebody [b][i]immediately grieves.[/i][/b] It's too early for that! Let the hot pocket [b][i]fully cook,[/i][/b] before you bite into it. Otherwise it will be cold in the middle.
If all goes well, you may be on your way to a full-blown six person raid team. [b][i]That,[/i][/b] however, is for another day...
[b]Lord Shaxx: [i]"I've seen enough! You were on them like a hobo on a hot ham and cheese!"[/i][/b]
Seriously bungie needs to collect all your posts and give you a permanent spot on the forums so old and new players can easily access your writing. Your posts help to ease the 'salt' and give us all a good laugh.