Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet [spoiler]NOT F#CKING BLUE [/spoiler] Roses are red Violets are blue God made me beautiful [spoiler]but what the F#CK happened to you???????[/spoiler]

Im john wayne at the first thanksgiving

America's Education System

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind [spoiler]helen Keller works instead of blind too[/spoiler] Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? [spoiler]you would too if your name was AAAAHHHAYYAAHHAYAHHH[/spoiler]

American healthcare.

Ask me if I'm a truck

There are 3 types of people in this world. [spoiler]People that can count, and those who can't.[/spoiler]

Nixon, Reagan, and Clinton are on the titanic. They hit an iceberg and the ship starts sinking. There are only 10 lifeboats. Reagan says "women and children first". Nixon says "Dude, -blam!- the women!". Clinton says "Do you think we have time?".

Would say it's my best but. A man takes an elevator to the bar at the very top of the empire state building. There's only the bartender and a really muscle-y guy in a suit blowing a stack of napkins out a window, having them come through the other window and landing in the bottom of the pile. The guy comes over and says "that's amazing, how do you do that?" The man in the suit explains "the wind hits the skyscrapers right side, goes around and back up the left." "Thats insane." He says. The man in the suit says "I'll give you ten bucks to jump out that window and land on the windowsill on the other side" The man replies "that's suicide, no way" The man in the suit jumps out the window, goes down, around, back up and lands on the other windowsill. He then says "if it can carry a big man like me it can certainly carry you." The man then says "okay, I'll do it" The man jumps out the window, hits the ground and dies. The man in the suit walks over to the bar, the barkeeper says "Superman, you are one bastard when you drink" Sorry if it's complicated, English is hard for me.

How to start an african rave Tape a piece of bread to the ceiling

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?" "Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money." "What are the three tests?" asks the man "Gotta pay first." So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar. "OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her." "Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!" The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve. "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs. He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence. Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body. "NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?

Amine joke incoming Why couldn't goku summon the Shenron? [spoiler]he didn't have the dragonballs to do it[/spoiler]