☠️ FIFTH AMENDMENT ☠️ “We plead the fifth… about that wipe.” Are you tired of joining clans that promise “endgame excellence” but deliver one guy eating crisps into the mic and another disappearing for 6 months after saying “brb”? Good. So are we. Welcome to Fifth Amendment — the legally questionable home for Guardians who thrive on: * Dark humour * Painfully bad jokes * Raid wipes caused by “testing something” * Shouting “WHO STOLE MY REZ TOKEN?” at 2am * Pretending Gambit doesn’t exist * Emotional damage from Trials We’re a clan built on friendship, sarcasm, and the collective inability to jump correctly in platforming sections. What We Offer ☠️ Raids where success is optional but bullying is guaranteed ☠️ Dungeon runs held together by caffeine and bad decisions ☠️ PvP teammates who will absolutely hype your 0.4 KD ☠️ A safe space to blame “lag” for everything ☠️ People online at ungodly hours making increasingly cursed jokes ☠️ At least one member who says “one more run” before ruining everyone’s sleep schedule Requirements * Don’t be a -blam!- * Have a sense of humour darker than the Hive aesthetic * Be active-ish (we understand some of you have jobs, children, or parole meetings) * Able to survive weaponized cringe * Must accept that every failed mechanic instantly becomes your fault Our Clan Motto “Flawless? Never heard of her.” Bonus Features ✔️ We teach raids ✔️ We carry sometimes ✔️ We also throw sometimes ✔️ Zero elitism ✔️ Maximum stupidity Whether you’re a veteran Guardian, a New Light, or someone who still doesn’t understand how armor mods work after 3 expansions… you’ll fit right in. Join Fifth Amendment today. Because therapy is expensive, but clan chat is free.