The Best Damn BLT Sandwich ======================================= Ingredients: ======================================= 2 slices of sourdough bread 3 leaves of butter leaf lettuce 1 Roman tomato 2 tbs of olive oil 1/2 tbs of chili flakes 1/2 tbs of old bay seasoning 2 tbs of mayonnaise 6 strips of bacon 1 frying pan 1 can of Pam nonstick cooking spray ======================================= Procedure: ======================================= 1. Fire up the stove to medium heat and place frying pan on the burner. Spray pan with Pam. 2. Place bacon into frying pan and cook until crispy on both sides. 3. Wash your hands you just touched raw meat! 4. Remove bacon and set aside for later. Drain about 75% of the residual fat from the pan. Pour the olive oil into the pan and reheat. Toast both sides of the sourdough in the olive oil/bacon fat to absorb the flavors DO NOT BURN. Remove toast set aside for later. 5. Go to the bathroom and empty your bowels. Take a picture of it with your iPhone/android and send it to your parents. Flush, then wash your hands again. 6. Slice the Roman tomato into 1/2 cm strips until you have enough to cover one piece of toast. 7. Combine the old bay seasoning, chili flakes, and mayonnaise until well mixed. Smear that stuff on one side on each of the toast. 8. Assemble sammich: toast mayo side up, tomatoes, lettuce, bacon, toast mayo side down. 9. Cut sammich if you want. Eat.