(Note: I wrote this poem a few years ago so it kinda sucks)
SUNSHOT
Who can outrun the sunrise?
“Not I” says a lonely ghost
Not Taken, Fallen, Scorn or Hive
Of this I can certainly boast.
Just pull it’s white trigger to activate,
It goes off with a satisfactory “bang!”
Then watch and smile and laugh and wait
As it’s target is consumed by flame.
It’s perfect appearance will never be lost
It’s time will never be done.
This that I speak of is called Sunshot,
For who can outrun the sun?
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[quote]THE LAW Who can run before the sun rises? "I'm not," he said in a low voice. Do not despise; You can brag. Just pull the white stem to awaken it. "It exploded!" Then laugh and wait. The stone was burned. His good looks are endless. Time will not work. I’m talking about sunscreen. Who can run before the sun goes down? [/quote]
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1 답변작성자: Astrosa 4/30/2022 8:17:09 AMBeautiful I just so happen to be a poet myself Only part of it change was the [quote]Just pull it’s white trigger to activate, It goes off with a satisfactory “bang!”[/quote] Part The flow of “activate” and “it” doesn’t sound entirely right but can be easily fixed. Perhaps with something like Just pull it’s white trigger, and off it goes with a satisfactory “bang!” Really like it tho Very catchy [spoiler]don’t look at my linked account name :)[/spoiler]
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1 답변Pretty good but could use some rhyming [spoiler]I know not all poems need it, but it just makes it sound better[/spoiler]