Mistake
[spoiler]So. Before I start this, I just want to say that this is an incomplete chapter. I am attempting to make art work for it and it will all be shown on Wattpad when finished. I’ll also be doing plenty of editing. Finally. There are some things that don’t add up when compared to the previous chapters. Figure them out, and you might uncover something...[/spoiler]
Location: The Last Safe City, Earth.
Status: Rocked by harsh storms
The harsh crack of thunder filled the sky while the howl of wind echoed through the streets of the Last City. The rain felt like thousands of tiny cold needles puncturing skin to Rogue, who had removed his patch. The Vex eye now had numerous robotic tendrils expanding from it, going beneath the skin and attaching itself to the nervous system.
He now saw the world differently now. Every path he took, he saw every possible future. When he saw an individual walking, he saw their steps before they even took them. When he looked at the tall buildings and the Traveler, he saw how they were all connected and interwoven. How he was able to see the moon 1.3 seconds ahead of the others, meaning he was seeing the actual position of the moon, rather than seeing it 1.3 seconds behind like everyone else. That is, when the moon is out of course.
By now he even made a wish to Aretho, saying that he could not be parted from the Reaper, under absolutely any circumstances.
“**Rogue. I can’t do this anymore. Please stop this and come back to the light!**” Every single day and night, his ghost would plead for him to stop running, but he would ignore her, but on this fateful night, he would have to listen. “**I’m done.**” “What was that?” “**I’m done. You’ve truly become a Demon.**” The Ghost began to float away, only to be gunned down viscously by the Fire Demon.
Brenda’s scream echoed through the city, and the death of a ghost was felt by every single nearby light bearer within the vicinity. Rogue dropped the cursed weapon in horror. He hadn’t meant to do that. “~Good grief.~” “Aretho...was that- was that you?” He said with a shaky voice. The world began to spin and a lump formed in Rogue’s throat. His mouth felt so dry when he finally opened it to ask the question once again.
“~That wasn’t me. That was the other guy who I happen to share this stupid gun with.~” Rogue fell to his knees and picked up the remains of his former ghost, unable to process these emotions, “Other guy?! This was a mistake. I...I wish you would leave my life.” “~Well that’s the thing. I exist in the Reaper, and it can’t be parted from you. Under aaaaaanyyyy circumstances. Besides. I think I have some uses for you.~”
Rogue attempted to walk away, but every corner he turned, the Reaper would be there, waiting to be picked up. “No, no, no, no, no.” “~Give in, Fire Demon. You need me. You need us.~” Rogue pressed the palms of his hands to his ears, trying to block out the noise. “STAY OUT OF MY HEAD! STAY OUT!”
Eventually, Rogue’s walk turned into a full on sprint. Each time his foot hit the pavement on the road, water would splash up. “~You can’t run from the truth forever.~” Rogue’s Vex eye began to act up. Of course...he had allowed Aretho to use it in the past to generate images. Suddenly, he was in a black void, still running.
He lost his breath and stopped, panting. Cold, wet, and exhausted, he trembled as he turned around and saw Atom, bloodied and mangled, her ghost shattered by Eliksni scavengers. “~You failed her because you didn’t have me. Face it, if you had our trust at the time, she would be alive now.~” “Shut up. Shut up.” “~You are weak and pathetic without us.~”
The voices began to circle around him as he opened his mouth in a silent scream, only for him to snap out of it as he felt a hand on his back. “Excuse me, sir. Are you alright?”
*end file*
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작성자: f3 7/30/2019 2:11:18 AM[quote]Mistake[/quote] indeed [quote]There are some things that don’t add up when compared to the previous chapters. Figure them out, and you might uncover something...[/quote] Yeah, I’ll get right on that. [quote]Location: The Last Safe City, Earth. Status: Rocked by harsh storms[/quote] : | [quote] The harsh crack of thunder filled the sky while the howl of wind echoed through the streets of the Last City. [/quote] Don’t shit out words like an incontinent thesaurus. That “echoed” you plopped out completely contradicts the active diction you used prior. It kills that entire sentence, and more importantly it really -blam!-ing annoyed me. [quote]The rain felt like thousands of tiny cold needles puncturing skin to Rogue, [/quote] Do you think we can come up with something a bit more original to describe rain? Yeah, me neither. [quote]who had removed his patch. The Vex eye now had numerous robotic tendrils expanding from it, going beneath the skin and attaching itself to the nervous system. [/quote] Of course. Of course our protagonist is a supreme edge-lord with a robot eye and a name like “Rogue”. What did I expect? [quote] He now saw the world differently now. Every path he took, he saw every possible future. When he saw an individual walking, he saw their steps before they even took them. When he looked at the tall buildings and the Traveler, he saw how they were all connected and interwoven. How he was able to see the moon 1.3 seconds ahead of the others, meaning he was seeing the actual position of the moon, rather than seeing it 1.3 seconds behind like everyone else. That is, when the moon is out of course. [/quote] And he was super fun at parties and constantly got laid. [quote] By now he even made a wish to Aretho, saying that he could not be parted from the Reaper, under absolutely any circumstances.[/quote] I don’t even know where to start with this mess. [quote] “**Rogue. I can’t do this anymore. Please stop this and come back to the light!**” Every single day and night, his ghost would plead for him to stop running, but he would ignore her, but on this fateful night, he would have to listen. [/quote] Everyone’s gotta have cool, stylized quotation marks, right? Christ, what a mess of commas. [quote]“**I’m done.**” “What was that?” “**I’m done. You’ve truly become a Demon.**” [/quote] And then John was a demon. [quote]The Ghost began to float away, only to be gunned down viscously by the Fire Demon. [/quote] lmfao -blam!-, man, the rest was just, like, I can’t. I can’t.
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1 답변Psssst, yeah you! Why am I whispering you ask? So that f3 guy doesn’t hear this and judge my stuff too. I’m 75% sure that he won’t hear this, so I think I’m safe. I enjoyed reading this, but it’s the first thing I’ve seen posted by you, so I have no clue what you mean by it not adding up with other posts.
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chili monster called . . . . . [spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler][spoiler]HE WANTS HIS EYEBROWS BACK!!!!!!!![/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler]