The chilling winds whistled through the mountain pass as the four seekers pushed through the snow. Leading the group was the large metallic golem, Cell-3. A deep green cloak wrapped around his neck, a sword at his side, and a shield nearly the size of a man on his arm raised to protect himself and the others from the worst of the weather. Behind Cell was the monk, Peaches Pan Tao, seemingly unfazed by the bitter cold in his simple robes. To the left of Peaches was the Half-Orc, Eccho Sierra, doing his best to pretend he wasn’t freezing his tusks off as he adjusted the guitar slung across his back. Bringing up the rear was Dr. False, the Tiefling alchemist, clutching his dark coat close to his neck. At the end of the pass was a vast canyon with a frozen river far below and two branching paths. Peaches turned to Eccho, “Which path do we take? I see no signs of recent travel.” Eccho shrugged, “The old man just said to follow the path to the witches castle, so… when in doubt, always go right!” The path was narrow. The group tied ropes between each other and Cell went first, digging his talons into the stone with each step. “So, this witch…” Dr. False began, trying to keep his mind distracted from the increasingly numerous ways they could die, “she was with CoolHandLuke at the tavern he was last se -” he slipped and would have fallen off the cliff had Eccho not caught his arm. “We havin’ fun yet?” Eccho grinned, pulling False to his feet. “According to people I’ve talked to, yeah. So, we talk to the witch and maybe we find Luke! Unless she ate him… then we kill her.” “Vampires don’t eat people, they drink them and make more vampires…so worst-case scenario: We kill them both!” Peaches added. False laughed, “Oh what fun…” The path widened before them and revealed their destination. The ruins of a small stone castle built into the side of the mountain. “I’d prefer to avoid violence, but be on your guard.” Cell ordered as they passed through the old gate house and approached the large wooden doors to the main entry. “Locked,” Cell said turning to False, who was already reaching into his coat for his tools. “Please be silent so I can hear the mechanisms.” ~ Nil sat upon her throne among the ruins of her once lavish ballroom. It had been centuries since she’d last seen it, having been bound to that accursed valley for crimes long since forgotten. As she sat there reminiscing the times spent in this chamber… the parties she’d hosted, the war councils she’d attended, the men and women she’d sacrificed for power… the creaking of the old doors caught her ear. “Four footsteps, but only three heart beats? Interesting,” Nil called out to the curious group of travelers. “Terribly sorry but, as you can see, I’m not prepared to entertain guests this evening.” Her gaze slowly swept across the four of them, their hands upon their weapons as they entered. “Are you here to kill me?” She asked, devoid of all emotion. The group stopped in the center of the room and Cell addressed her, “We are searching for CoolHandLuke. He was last seen travelling with you and the Xombie, Xronad.” Eccho stepped forward and added, “And a warm fire, a hot meal, and a couple bottles of wine!” The witch ignored him, “I’ve not seen Luke since we parted ways. We heard of Ninja attacks on other kingdoms and he left to warn his… wait. Something else is here…” Peaches notices shadows passing from the roof above, “We are not alone!” He called out to the others. Ninjas descended from above, their eyes blue flames, and attacked the group. Cell drew his sword, saying a quick prayer to Bernthal to ignite it with green flame, and swung in a large arc that decapitated two ninjas then brought his shield up into a defensive position. As the bodies of the ninjas fell, they dissipated into clouds of ash. “Whatever they are, they’re not of this realm!” Cell shouted to his allies. Another ninja leapt from the shadows behind Eccho and left a large gash across his arm with its sword. Eccho grabbed his guitar and strummed a note that sent a blast of magic at the ninja, knocking it off its feet and sending it head first into a wall where it impacted with an audible crack and dissipated. He then spotted a ninja moving behind False and shouted, “Hey, ass butt!” This distracted the ninja and alerted False, causing the ninjas attack to miss. False quickly shot it in the neck with a dart from his hand crossbow. It clutched at its neck before falling over and also dissipating. “Poison seems to work,” his attention was then drawn to a balcony overlooking the ballroom were a few ninjas had taken positions with crossbows and fired, a few of the bolts struck Eccho and Cell. Peaches, meanwhile, was defending himself from a small crowd of ninjas near the entrance, moving so quickly that he appeared to be in three places at once. As the balcony ninjas fired upon him, Peaches slapped one of the bolts and redirected it into one of his attackers, killing it instantly. He then swept the legs from under another, laying them flat on their back, and brought his foot down upon their head. Nil stood from her throne and raised a hand toward the battle, hissing words in a forgotten tongue. The wounds on Eccho, Peaches, and even Cells metallic frame twisted shut. False approached Nil with a small black orb in his hand, “Sorry to interrupt, but may I light this incendiary bomb and destroy the ninjas on the balcony?” Nil blinked at the Tiefling, “Suuure?” False smiled, “Good because I’ve already lit it.” He then lobbed it into the crossbowmen, obliterating the balcony and the ninjas perched upon it. After Peaches dealt with the remaining ninja, he turned to the others, “They must have followed us. We need to leave before they banish u-” before he could finish, Cell leapt behind him and blocked an attack that knocked them both back twenty feet. In the entrance to the ballroom stood a dozen more ninjas. Before them stood an even larger ninja, its head engulfed in blue flames and in its hands a massive burning hammer. The large ninja began to lumber forward, raising its hammer for another strike. Cell stood, “Behind me!” He ordered, bracing his dented shield for another blow. As the others gathered, Nil stood with them and began hissing another spell. The ninjas pace quickened as shadows began to pool around them, the flames of its hammer burning brighter. Nil spoke faster and louder, the words reverberating in the ballroom and echoing in the mountains until dozens of white tentacles burst from the shadows and dragged them into the darkness just before the ninjas hammer made contact. The impact from the hammer caused a brilliant flash of white light and a thunderous crash. The castle was obliterated, the shockwave causing avalanches that buried the river valley below. Meanwhile, in the throne room of the castle in the center of the great city of Offtopica, a pool of darkness forms in the floor and a mass of white tentacles rise up to deposit five figures. Eccho gasps for air and turns to Nil, “I did not consent to that!” As guards surround them, Cell, the Lord of this land, raises his hand to assure them all is well. “Well that’s a hell of a way to make an entrance,” A voice called from the throne. There, leaning against the arm with a sly smile, stood CoolHandLuke. “Bout time you showed up. Hey Nil, glad you could join the fun. So…I’m guessing you know the ninjas have returned to Offtopica?" [spoiler]So I meant to post this days ago but it got deleted on accident and then I was super busy but I rewrote it all today and i'm not 100% satisfied with this but if I keep overthinking things it'll never get posted and I already told a few people I would SO WHATEVER HERE JUST TAKE MY TRASH[/spoiler]