Are you tired of sitting in your tent, just staring down a hallway with a sniper? What about holding hands with all your teammates in a firing line like some British army performing a seance to summon the damnned? Better yet, do you want to force others who play like that to get up off their asses and let go of those teammates faster than a germaphobic deadbeat who's surrounded by debt-collectors with the Flu? [i]Sounds like you need a shotgun![/i] "But Dark, I can't hit the broadside of a barn. Last time I tried was the last time I still had both feet and my dog Jim!" That's the wonderful thing about shotguns, you sad little monoped, you! It's practically impossible to miss! I tell you what, I probably shouldn't do this, but I'll let you in on the secret steps to being a successful shotgunner: [b]Step 1:[/b] Equip a shotgun, two if you're feeling extra frisky. [b]Step 2:[/b] Tape that analog stick forwards or that W key down, because the only direction you need to go is towards your destiny and/or inevitable demise! [b]Step 3:[/b] Press that analog stick in or hit that Shift key, we need more speed here! [b]Step 4:[/b] Look at your enemy, [b]Step 5:[/b] Slide... [b]Step 6:[/b] [i]Click that mouse as fast as you can, this mother-blam!-er needs to die back in D1![/i] [b]Step 7:[/b] ??? [b]Step 8:[/b] You win. You just win. Everyone quit including your team and you have no friends now. [b]Not that you needed them anymore thanks to your newfound skills!***[/b] Go solo Competitive and show Bungie that there's nothing wrong with going in solo! Wreck face in Iron Banner until Lord Saladman has to call it off because of the massive brain damage everyone has suffered after forcefully and repeatedly having lead pumped into their skulls! Now, I know what you're thinking... "Wow, Dark! I can't believe I ever lived without this! Hell, I'm going to put two shotguns on so I can put my 'skills'********* to use more often!" [i][b]But why stop there![/b][/i] Get yourself 2 Legendary Shotguns, and jam them into those Kinetic and Energy slots! "But what if I want to use the Chap-" [i]Shut up before I blast your poor uninformed helium filled head like a balloon at a carnival game, bud![/i] Here's the only three exotics you'll ever need to complete the trifecta of the [u][b]F[/b][/u]unctional and [u][b]U[/b][/u]niversally [b][u]C[/u][/b]onstant [b][u]C[/u][/b]los[b][u]e[/u][/b]-[b][u]R[/u][/b]ange build (or the F.U.C.C.E.R. build, for short): - Tractor Cannon - Legend of Acrius - Tractor Cannon [i]Now go eviscerate those faces until no amount of facial reconstruction will ever make them look remotely normal ever again! They'll spend a fortune on plastic surgery to no avail! They'll rack up enormous debts trying to do so, and to pay it off they'll go into highly controversial and experimental drug trials! They'll die a horrible death at the hand of psychopathic doctors, [b]FOR SCIENCE![/b][/i] [spoiler]I spent way more time making this than I should have...[/spoiler] [spoiler][b]...but not as much time as you're WASTING by reading this! [u]GO MUTILATE THOSE FACES FOR SCIENCE![/u][/b][/spoiler] Edit: If you were expecting some "Oh look everyone we're trending yaaaaaay" edit then [i][b]you have come to the wrong post, bud![/b][/i] I will not lower myself to such a level that I need some pitiful self-recognition! [i]Not for me, thank you and good day![/i] [spoiler]Actual Edit: I'm actually adding this in to accommodate for my own laziness, originally I intended to try to reply to each person, but apparently [b]way too many of you did not listen and are wasting your time here instead of removing people's faces![/b] That said, for anyone who enjoyed this post, I'm glad you got some enjoyment out of me wasting my time! :)[/spoiler]