Hello.
I am dealing with major Depression.
I've gotten to the point where I can't even convince myself to go to a therapist or a doctor because I fear they will make my situation worse.
I feel guilty when I recieve help.
And what makes it worse is that, I'm a high-end introvert, so I can't even talk to others face to face about it.
I'm literally cutting myself, to ease Depression, relieve Anxiety and Stress, but it makes me more Paranoid.
I don't know what to do.
So that begs the question:
What do I do?
[i]Please help me.[/i]
I've been going through the same thing. Depression, introversion (borderline agoraphobia, in fact), and a feeling of guilt asking anybody for anything.
First off, therapy absolutely will help. I was hesitant to start but after I pushed myself over the edge one night, I started going, and it's helped. It hasn't been the resolution to all my problems, but it REALLY helped. I'm still a cynic who's always doubting people and that doesn't change in the therapy room, but talking to someone helps. Coming out of your shell to talk to him/her is very hard at first. I couldn't make eye contact and I couldn't really respond to her questions with much. But it's a lot better now.
Also, I'd recommend getting on anti-depressant medication. They're no magic beans but they are a huge help. I'm not an expert on this subject, but even on a low dosage I feel a noticeable increase in general mood.
Lastly, catharsis is a good thing. Suppressing yourself is bound to make you explode. However, cutting yourself is not a good way to release those feelings. My therapist has been talking to me a lot about managing my anger, and doing so is important. You don't want to keep it pent up at all, but you want to release it in a way that doesn't harm you or anyone else. When I'm angry, I throw pillows at the walls or slam my hands on something (usually the bed) but it's up to you. My therapist mentioned something called a "Damn-it Doll". Never heard of it (and haven't looked it up, to be honest) but I'd recommend looking into that as well. If your pent-up feelings are more depressed and emotional than angry, I'd recommend you start writing. My therapist said I should keep an anger journal but I usually just write creative fiction instead and pour whatever's on my mind out that way. Once again, it's up to you. Do what feels best.
I hope you get help. :) Depression is really tough.