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작성자: Feldspar119
7/26/2017 5:35:27 PM
6
Timelines table of contents
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/224015060/0/0/link Chapter 1
Https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/224881730/0/0/link Chapter 2
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/225412781/0/0/link Chapter 3
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/225848384/0/0link Chapter 4
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/225887476/0 Chapter 5
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/225959734/0/0 Chapter 6
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226012887/0/0 Chapter 7
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226228237/0/0 Chapter 8 part 1
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226267436/0/0 Chapter 8 part 2
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226306809/0/0 Chapter 8 part 3
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226426088/0/0 Chapter 8 part 4
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226460418/0/0 Chapter 9
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226542809/0/0 Chapter 10
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226566137/0/0 Chapter 11
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226579679/0/0 Chapter 12
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226808885/0/0 Chapter 13
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226903606/0/0 Chapter 14
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226917176/0/0 Chapter 15 part 1
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226953279/0/0 Chapter 15 part 2
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226978300/0/0 Chapter 16
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/226992189/0/0 Chapter 17
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227002730/0/0 Chapter 18
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227226145/0/0 Chapter 19
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227310540/0/0 Chapter 20
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227554287/0/0 Chapter 21
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227605425/0/0 Chapter 22
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227628307/0/0 Chapter 23
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227732587/0/0 chapter 24
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227771170/0/0 chapter 25
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227800464/0/0 chapter 26
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227829856/0/0 chapter 27
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/227891400/0/0 chapter 28
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/228462979/0/0 Chapter 29
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/228511977/0/0 chapter 30
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/228860964/0/0 chapter 31
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/228978808/0/0 chapter 32
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/229239076/0/0 chapter 33
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/229272907/0/0 chapter 34
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/229445721/0/0 chapter 35
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/229445982/0/0 Epilogue.
This is my story timelines. It takes place in an alternate universe where the Lysander won the faction wars and now controls the Last City.
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1 답변Final critique: Your story gave an answer to the question that's been nagging many fans familiar with the lore: what would happen if the Concordat had won? Instead of taking us the safe path, in a Guardian's eyes, you showed us the story of a normal man raised in a City ruled by Lysander. It was both thrilling and tragic, with hope interspersed throughout. I didn't see the end coming, but it offered closure on all the important points...absolutely. Writing definitely improved as it progressed, but that's always to be expected. Very glad to have read this, and someone would have to work pretty hard to make it better. Bump!
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2 답변
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Good job. You should label chapters one and two, and also the link to 3 isn't working because you accidentally connected the letters "url". Put a space between thoughts to fix it Putting some intro on the post where you say something about the story or why you're doing it would grab people's interest more
